Saturday, July 19th - Part Two
It’s STILL my birthday!

We caught back up to the group who assumed we’d chickened out because we’d only been gone 15 minutes (apparently they were under the impression that we were going to take time to get to know our nude neighbors, but boy were they wrong). It was time to get ready and catch the boat for our Sunset Snorkeling Adventure! We rushed and ran to the dock to take celebrating my birthday in style up one more notch! The water was beautiful and the boys running the boat were of model quality (at least that’s what I’m assuming by the number of photos Mike and Jed took of them). As we were getting to the protected reef, the water got a bit rougher and by the time we anchored, there were white foamy waves on the water where we’d be snorkeling.

Though it was beautiful, once we got into the water we were thrown around as much as one might be thrown about in that wavepool from hell at Typhoon Lagoon – so yes, a little rough is a mild description. I wasn’t feeling so hot and by the time I got back onto the boat after being in the water for an hour, I felt pretty horrible. Mike G. had thrown up in the water (which apparently brings the most beautiful fish very close – just a tip) and then on the boat several more times. Hope was feeling nauseated and looked glassy eyed. I decided to lie down on Frank’s lap to try the trip back with my eyes closed to ward off the yacks. After having my head down for a few minutes a strong wave of nausea came over me and Frank sent me down to the bathroom in the boat…. Not a great recommendation. If I felt sick before going downstairs in to the fecal mater capital of everywhere and everything, the smell of the debris covered room only made it worse. I hadn’t even closed the door before my full and flavorful lunch from Caroline’s shot out and then again, because apparently the margarita and fries I consumed were also offensive to my fragile belly. 4 rounds of yacking later I emerged, white and clammy. While I was below deck, Mike G. and Hope had set up a sickbay of sorts in the center most area of the boat that they now welcomed me into with open arms. The truly sad part of this is that there was a delicious menagerie of complimentary beverages for the trip back that the three of us couldn’t participate in (but don’t worry, that didn’t stop Frank, Jed, and Mike M. from sampling them thoroughly).

We watched bitterly as the boys drank and congratulated themselves and we sipped on plastic cups of water. As we were about to park the boat, Mike G. had one more round in him and having already christened the other three sides of the boat, tossed the last bits of his shrimp-filled lettuce wrap off the final side of the boat – he’s thorough!

We got back to the house and I decided that I wasn’t feeling up to going out and getting crazy so we decided to put on our pajamas and spend the night in. The boys had bought fish and steak earlier in the weekend to grill but the idea of eating what I’d just thrown up (did I mention that I had a blackened mahi mahi sandwich for lunch?) was not something I was prepared to do so we ordered Papa John’s. The gang surprised me with a delicious strawberry-and-cream-filled cake that after a bit I was even able to eat a bite of – my birthday wish came true!

That’s how you ring in a 30th birthday with style!

Don’t get jealous – one more day of excitement to come!

Saturday, July 19th - Part One
It’s my birthday!

Sweet and wonderful Frank took the girls for an early morning walk so that I could sleep in. I woke up to find that thoughtful and beautiful Hope bought doughnuts and muffins for breakfast. I opened super birthday presents while we enjoyed our lazy Saturday morning and then we put a stop to the laziness and got ready for the good times! First thing, first – off to Key West’s own Butterfly Museum. A nice museum man told us all sorts of stuff about some scary big moths and how moths differ from butterflies – a learning experience for all!

We ate lunch at Caroline’s - my favorite Key West restaurant. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed their HUGE meals and cleaned their plates. During lunch, due to some heckling from the rest of the gang, it occurred to Mike M. and I that it was probably time to complete another item on the list. Yes, you guessed it – it was Naked Margarita Time.

For those of who don’t know the details of this particular ridiculousness, I’ll explain. One of my unfinished 30-before-30 list items was to drink naked margaritas. There is a clothing-optional bar there, on Duval Street called the Garden of Eden where I’d never been, but had always heard about and this seemed like the sort of adventurous thing that a 30th birthday called for. I didn’t want to embark on this adventure alone, (goodness knows what sorts of crazies would pray on a lonesome naked gal) but unfortunately most of my traveling companions politely declined the invitation. Fortunately for me, Mike M. is a handsome single man who is game for just about anything, and he thought it seemed like the sort of craziness he was eager to participate in. Back to the story…

Mike M. and I headed to the restroom at Caroline’s to take one last look at “ourselves” to make sure that we were “show ready” if you will… (and we will). We were as ready as we were going to get (which really means that our stomachs had started to rumble and we were really beginning to freak out). We’d left the bill for the rest of the gang (aka: the non-participants) and walked quickly and frantically to the Garden of Eden. We agreed that we just had to do it, get there and get it done, so that we wouldn’t chicken out. We marched into the bar and up the stairs. The Garden of Eden (the bar, not the original biblical version) is on the roof, so we walked up one flight of stairs and concerned and confused, realized that it wasn’t the roof. Have no fear though, after looking around frantically, we found a flight of stairs and a sign so we timidly climbed another flight, finding ourselves on the roof. We knew right away that we were in the right place because a naked man was sitting on a towel on a barstool at the bar. I didn’t look too closely, but Mike M. checked to make sure that everything was available to see, and according to him, everything was very available.

We looked around to the rest of the bar for a private place to have our margaritas and were thwarted. Oh there was a bar and probably even fixin’s for margaritas but privacy was not an option - a rooftop bar doesn’t exactly have separate sections or partitions. We counted 7 patrons along with the bartender who at this point had realized what we were there for. We were not sticking to the plan of “keeping cool” by anyone’s imagination. We were sweaty, panicky, and jumpy. The bartender (who was wearing tie-wasted pants and a string bikini) told us that there were showers in case we were interested (something I rudely dismissed) and told us that we could take off as much or as little as we wanted to. She’d figured us out. I had a nasty case of the dry mouth syndrome, because as most of you know I’m a little chatty and usually this would give me the perfect opportunity to share our plan, making it a funny story, and win her over… but I didn’t want to win her over. I didn’t want her to remember us, or even pay any special attention to us, but our fidgety, frantic nature was taking priority and that seemed like an unlikely objective. Mike M. pointed out a piece of railing and palm tree to be our designated drinking location and we ordered. I asked for 2 margaritas on the rocks (since the urgency of our slurping would rule out the frozen sort – no one wants an ice cream headache), when our string bikini’d bartender told us that the two-for-one margaritas were on downstairs. We giggled and said that we were in the right place and just wanted two of her special rooftop margaritas – which she informed us had been called the best on the island (again, not something we wanted to hang around to find out about, but I digress). We headed to our selected slice of banister and got to business. I started to take off my watch, jewelry, and glasses. Mike M. took his top layer shirt (because boys in Florida should rarely wear one layer for fear of the sweaty monster within) and gave me a frantic “you’d better start taking something real off” look when I told him that if I were to take ANY clothes off, private moments would be shared, which was not the case for him in his layered glory so I was merely pacing myself. In a moment, he was down to his underoos so it was time for me to remove something meaningful and in the attempt to do so I got stuck inside my shirt when trying to do a tricky bra-tshirt combination of removal… I stopped being fancy, as did Mike M. and we just pulled it all off.

That’s when we’re fairly sure that we heard cheering, and hooting from the bar. We didn’t look around though, because we had an unspoken agreement to look straight ahead – at each other’s faces only – and drink, drink, drink! We only had to stay naked as long as there was margarita to drink so drink we did! In unison, at some point during our frantic slurping we both realized how much nicer it was there, in no clothes with a cool drink and the lovely breeze, than it had been all day in our sticky clothes two stories down. We giggled about it a little and then Mike M. said “Time to drink”! So we wrapped up our glasses of tequila and hurriedly put our damp clothes back on. Our seven-minutes in hell was finally over! We turned around to find the bartender cheering and waving her girls around eagerly as she’d freed them from their bikini’d harnesses by wrapping the little bit of fabric around her ladies as if it were acting as border to her gal-parts. Priceless. I’m glad I tipped her $5 as anything less than that would be seen as an insult for the “show” we subsequently received! As we were rushing to get down the stairs and appreciate the conversations that we were trying to evacuate from a big handsome man stopped us to thank us for our big reveal and tell us that it was the best 5 minutes of his day.

That’s a compliment I’ll take to the bank!

The famous and beautiful Martha Thelma Buchta is our winner! She will be receiving her prize shortly in the mail - please congratulate her heartily and enviously. I’ve also added the answers (for your reading enjoyment) to the questions throughout the blog.

Oh, and yes, the final (and most interesting) days of our trip to Key West are still just about finished! We’ve saved the best for last!

Trivia question #17
Q - How long did Phyllis sleep in the car on the way to Key West?
A - Zero minutes

Trivia question #18
Q - How many fiber one bars did Andrea eat in the car on the way to Key West?
A - Two and a half - that’s alot of gas!

Trivia question #19
Q - What sort of dangerous alcohol was in Andrea’s first Key West beverage?
A - Grain Alcohol - only the finest for me!

Trivia question #20
Q - Where did we see our first chicken of the weekend?
A - Mallory Square

Friday, 7/18

We set the alarm for 5am Friday morning and due to our 1am load of laundry, we ripped ourselves from the sheets at 5:35am – later than anticipated but not too bad. We had to finish packing (no surprise there) and attempt to load up the Vue with luggage, snacks, cooler, dog beds, dog food, dog toys, dog treats, dog bowls and of course the girls. Did I mention that we were bringing Stella and Phyllis? When we planned the trip, we decided to bring the girls because Key West is so dog friendly and thought that it would make us more at ease to have the dogs with us…. That was before we had to try to pack all the dog crap into the ever-shrinking Vue and then enjoy the good times it is to coax the dogs into the cramped car. We only had to head back home once to get something we’d forgotten so we took our “smooth” morning as a good omen.

Let me just say that Frank is especially fun on road trips. He plays games with me, chit chats about anything at all, and (probably because of his lack of ipod), puts up with my incessant girly music and show tunes, so I was excited to be on the road. After we took our time on the road to enjoy the view (especially the sparkly aqua water), a few potty stops (apparently dogs can’t hold it that long, however much I’d like to keep moving), several fiber one bars (Frank’s so lucky), and about 7 hours we arrived in beautiful Key West.

We’d rented a house since the gang was joining us and that turned out to be a TERRIFIC idea - it was beautiful, open with lots of light, was colorful, and private. Hope had arrived a bit earlier so we told her to wrap up her bikini wax and pedicure and come on over. We freshened up (because after 7 hours in the car I truly look like a homeless person) and decided to explore some of the island…. And when I say explore some of the island I mean go out for a frozen beverage from the Flying Monkey and a Chocolate Covered Key Lime Pie on a stick – mmmmm delicious! Shortly after our afternoon of shopping and delicious treat eating the boys arrived. Now that Jed, Mike, and Mike were there, it was time to properly enjoy the island! We all headed down to Mallory Square for the sunset celebration. We searched to find the man who juggles the cats and the rest of the crazies and just at sunset we found the lot of them. It was a beautiful evening and the island was super crowded – just the right atmosphere for a birthday weekend!

I consulted online advice from regulars and locals to find the best dinner spot for our first night on the island and so we’d planned and made reservations to have dinner at Santiago’s Bodega a locally owned tapas restaurant…. What none of the reviews said, was that we’d have to walk through the Harlem of Key West to get there. After noticing several unsavory sorts we finally arrived at the tiny location. When I say tiny, I really mean tiny. There were four tables inside the restaurant and one outside. We checked in and the six of us were seated inside – something we were grateful of because we were hella hot from the July heat and lengthy stroll. It wasn’t necessarily air-conditioned but there were fans, which made it a bit cooler. We ordered drinks and eagerly looked at the variety on the menu. This would be the last good service we’d experience at Santiago’s Bodega. When we were almost decided, the hostess came to the table to tell us that we’d taken someone else’s table and wanted to know if we really had a reservation or were crashing. After an uncomfortable back and forth, she discovered that we had similar last names and she supposed they’d have to sit outside. Then the drinks came…. But not with glasses, napkins, or silverwear. Once the glasses did arrive, the restaurant was apparently out of wine glasses so he delivered beer pints for us to drink our sangria out of – not the end of the world though. Orders were placed and once we’d told him what we wanted, he proceeded to roll his eyes and explain that even though we’d ordered separately, that’s not how it’s done and frustratingly explained how tapas works…. Which would be understandable if we hadn’t made a reservation several weeks in advance – wouldn’t that kind of forethought tell him that we’d probably done some research? But I digress. This was the point when we made friends with the chatty English lady and her family at the table next to us. You should know that the table next to us was only about 5 inches away from our table, so we were practically sitting together – why not make the best of it! Jed foolishly asked for a pitcher of water to which I think the server actually growled at him and then in one refilling moment, dropped Mike M.’s glass onto him. Our new English lady-friend found this all loudly amusing and wildly inappropriate with a good sense of humor. Though the service was deplorable, the food was really fantastic – interesting, full of flavor and portions that were quite plentiful but when it was time we knew immediately that this clearly wasn’t going to be somewhere that the idea of separate checks was likely to be embraced. We scrounged up what cash we had (thank goodness, we had quite a bit as it was the beginning of the weekend) paid and began our trek back through crack-town.

We headed back to our beautiful house for a dip in the pool and to relax. Jed, of course, passed out immediately upon returning home, crawling into a ball onto the side chair in the living room and the rest of us went to enjoy a splish-splash in our private pool – how fancy are we?!?!

Well, all of us except for sleepy Jed.

… and it was filled with adventure! I’ll post the details soon.

Thank you to everyone who thought of me

Trivia question #13
Q - What is the lake that feeds the Buttermilk Falls?
A - Cayuga Lake

Trivia question #14
Q - Which was our favorite Ithaca slogan?
a) Ithaca is gorges b) Ithaca is not George’s c) Ithaca is cold d) Ithaca is gay e) Barack is gorges f) McCain is not gorges
A - Ithaca is gorges

Trivia question #15
Q - Frank bought a piece of themed merchandise from Mr. Brozetti – what did he buy?
A - A beer glass

Trivia question #16
Q - According to Frank’s GPS, how long was our hike in Buttermilk State Park?
A - One hour and eleven minutes - just under a mile

One More Adventure

Totally forgot to mention one funny thing from last night… Mom drove us home at about 9:45pm and we were starving. After calling several pizza distributors (trying to steer as clear of Papa John’s as possible, but we were hungry) we learned that Brozetti’s could make us a third of a pizza as long as we could come pick it up. We agreed and headed that way. We were thankful and courteous – it was late after all – when Mr. Brozetti (or at least that’s who I assume he was since his picture was on the pizza box I was holding) asked if I wanted to sing for my meal in a knowing sort of way. I don’t remember ever meeting Mr. Brozetti but his knowing look spread into a wide “good to see you” smile so I quickly realized that I must have met him at some point and it was probably in the midst of a musical engagement of some sort. I smiled back (the man was holding my pizza after all) and told him that we were far too hungry to sing for our meal this time but promised to return the favor next time. He seemed appeased and generously gave us a key chain that sings the Brozetti’s commercial song (797-9960 – call Brozettis’ for pizza to-go). Again, I’m not sure how folks keep recognizing me, but if it gets me complimentary key chains then I’ll take it!

Anyway, (now it’s Monday again) we’d eaten our fill and visited our favorite places throughout Binghamton but hadn’t spent any time in Ithaca yet and had an urge for a bit of nature so the waterfalls of Ithaca was our destination. Mom, Little Frank, and I piled into the car for our final adventure of the week – hiking the waterfalls.

We enjoyed a beautiful hour-long drive and arrived in Ithaca. Ithaca is like a big bowl of crunchy granola goodness surrounded by hills, and mountains that were carved out by ice, snow, and dinosaurs I think – those little arms can really get to digging when they put their whole hearts into it! Because of the digging dinosaurs, there are bunches of beautiful waterfalls, lakes, and gorges throughout the area. The last time I brought Frank to Ithaca we went to see Tughanic Falls so this time I thought that we’d visit another location – Buttermilk Falls State Park.

Mom and I used the sketchy bathroom upon arrival and started our hike. The weather couldn’t have been more different than the day before because it was absolutely clear with a light breeze and fluffy bits of cloud cover. We wove through the Rim Trail and hopped onto the Gorge Trail that went a bit lower and closer to the water so that Mom and I could dip our toes into the water – and yes in case you were wondering, of course we I was wearing flip-flops. We took our time to enjoy the walk – ne need to hurry – and made it down to the bottom in about half an hour. At the bottom there was the biggest waterfall yet and a swimming area that was so inviting we wondered why we hadn’t brought our bathing suits. We sat for a bit – Mom was the brave one who put both of her feet fully into the chilly water (she’s a bit of a daredevil). We walked slower still back up the gorge – it was steep and we took our time to catch our breath (because we seriously needed to) and turned up back on the top hungry and ready for lunch.

We went into the Ithaca Commons to visit the Moosewood Restaurant – a favorite of ours – where the food is always great and the service is a little disinterested (you can’t have everything). We walked around and looked in shops a bit and then realized that one dessert between the three of us wasn’t enough, so we headed off to Purity Ice Cream. We enjoyed our ice cream (I had a large scoop of the Upstate New York which is vanilla malt ice cream with grapenuts, swirls of fudge, and chocolate cows on a sugar cone), then we tapped into Purity’s wifi to find out where the local EMS store was to pick up some supplies for our upcoming Grand Canyon craziness. The EMS experts agreed with Frank (no surprise there) that I can’t wear flip-flops for the hike down the canyon and had a giggle at my expense. I love that.

Homeward bound to relax and recuperate. While watching Antique Road Show with my parents we heard one disappointed antique owner say that even though she didn’t hear what she wanted, she came with her neighbor and the best antiques are old friends. Just a little wisdom to share with you… You’re welcome.

The Lampheres called for us to come over to their house for dinner later on that night and started to sing the Brozetti’s song through the phone so we knew they meant business – they crack me up! We popped up the hill for some pizza and to catch up and found that once again, the time had gotten the best of us and it was midnight so we headed home to get ready for our full day of traveling tomorrow.

What a wild weekend with Mom and Dad in Binghamton? Thanks for spending it with us – keep an eye out though because in just a few short days we’ll be writing from Key West for the Birthday Weekend Extravaganza! Woo hoo!

Trivia question #9
Q - Which cat joins Mom in her nightly solitaire game?
A - Scroungie

Trivia question #10
Q - What product claims that 30 is the new 20?
A - Vitamin Water

Trivia question #11
Q - How many wines did Andrea taste?
A - Too much wine to count

Trivia question #12
Q - What sorts of wooden crafts does the Falls Wood Craft Gift Shop sell?
a) holiday ornaments b) lawn ornaments c) animal statues d) all of the above
A - D - all of the above

Wine Tasting Sunday (this is a long one - get ready or prepare to skim)

Up early because it’s wine tasting day! Chrissy and Ron (sister and brother-in-law) decided to join us on our wine tasting extravaganza. For Chrissy’s birthday this year, Ron surprised her with a bed and breakfast wine tasting combination and she spoke so highly of it, we decided to give it a whirl. There are a bunch of wineries around the Cayuga and Seneca Lakes so since Chrissy and Ron were experts of the Seneca Wineries, that’s where we headed.

Mom generously agreed to baby-sit the kids so that we could all get away for a few hours. On our way to the lake we stopped at Sweeny’s market which can only be described as a down home country store. With a bull perched precariously on the roof we knew we were in the right place. Though they had a wide variety of jerky, we didn’t let it tempt us! We grabbed some drinks and hit the road with Chrissy in the driver’s seat. We brought our GPS which we renamed Ken Ken (instead of Tom Tom) because we changed his voice to represent our Austrailian friends – we saw their carefree lifestyle as a celebration to our day of wine tasting.

Our first winery was closed – not a good sign but it was only 11:30am and technically alcohol can’t be sold in New York until noon, so we headed up the lake to quench our thirst. The first open winery we visited was the Silver Springs Winery. We met Don Giovanni a seventh generation alcohol distributor with a bangin’ fu-man stash and accompanying ponytail – he allegedly brought the family out of their bootlegging roots. He was a knowledgeable and passionate wine maker who has strong opinions about most things – no middle of the road for him! Oh, and they also allegedly have a patent on their unusual wine label logo.

The second winery we hit was Atwater Estate Vinyards where a lonely fellow from the previous winery followed us. We didn’t get his name but he was friendly enough so we asked him to be a part of our photo and I gave him a warm hug that I think he thoroughly enjoyed.
I’m a giver.
The view at Atwater was really beautiful even through the drizzle and fog – I’m sure it’d be a wonderful time to spend some time. We also bought our passports at Atwater Estates. The passport entitles you to visit 28 wineries around the lake for $12 which is a bargain but I kind of doubt that we’re going to get that much in us today – if 9 is too many, 28 definitely is.

The next winery was Hazlitt Vinyards or as my sister named it, Home of the Red Cat. They had Red Cat and White Cat wine but also had a grey cat sitting in the doorway who didn’t mind being petted – I love to pet cats! There was a crazy drunken man working there who took our photo – not sure how good it was as he was a little wobbly. Their gift shop had all manner of things including Thongs and jello shot kits with their Red Cat logo. I didn’t see any takers but I’m sure after a few more wineries, wine themed thongs are going to seem like a must buy item.

Off we go again!

We had planned to stop at our next Winery as soon as we saw the sign – Penguin Bay Winery was next on our list! We were cut off by two shiny escalades on our way into the parking lot being driven by (surprise surprise) folks visiting from Long Island. I’m not judging, I’m just pointing out similarities between folks from Long Island and New Jersey. Back on the ranch, the Penguin Bay had mango flavored wines, a disappearing bartender, and looked a little like a great big house on wheels – clearly not my favorite. BUT, have no fear – there was a redeeming factor to this location! Adjacent to the property a camper was parked and being held up by a bear! Can’t go wrong with that - take a look!

We were filled up with wine and a little tipsy so it was time for a nap and lunch. Wagner Vinyards took about 15 minutes to get to, had a great view, a restaurant, wine tasting, and a brewery – clearly this was our next stop! The drizzle had turned to full-blown rain so we waited it out over lunch where the boys sampled some local beer (because they just hadn’t had quite enough liquids yet). Once we got into the wine tasting, I’m pretty sure that the Wagner’s folks were trying to get us good and drunk. We sampled ten – yes ten – wines and even managed to enjoy a few of them! The brewery option cost an extra dollar per person and since Ron and Frank are big spenders, they got out their quarters and signed up. They drank and drank and drank and no longer sober, we were on our way once again.

The combination of wine and beer inspired Ron to declare that the next winery we visit would be Passion Feet because passion is good, and we have feet so that’s where we stopped but were surprised to discover that this next complex had four wineries at the same stop – this is getting more dangerous! Passion Feet was super girly (pink walls and wine flavors such as scandelicious, flirtation, earn your beads, and heart pounding crush) so not so surprisingly everything was really fruity, sweet, and delicious. We were directed by the foul-mouthed bartender to walk through the woods to another included winery called Rogues Hollow. We walked through the only swamp I’ve seen in New York and reminded me so much of the Big Bamboo I was too frightened to sit. Their wines were also pretty girl but had terribly inappropriate titles that I’ll not share – feel free to google if you’re feeling brave (but you probably shouldn’t do it at work).

The second foul-mouthed bartender told us that most of the wineries would be closing soon (because it was Upstate New York and Sunday) and 5pm marks closing time. We checked our trusty passports and found that the one Chrissy and Ron were most excited about was open until 8pm so we headed off (just in case it was a typo) to get there before the clock struck.

We were low on gas and thought to stop but wanted to make sure that we made it to Bellhurst in time so Ron said we’d be fine and we opted to wait (this is foreshadowing). We made it to Belhurst in time for a wedding to start. We asked for our first tasting and then stepped out onto the balcony to enjoy the show. The set up overlooked Seneca Lake and as it had stopped raining and the sun was peaking out, was a really beautiful thing to see. The bridesmaids walked proudly down the isle in a shiny burnt rust rusched (sp?) taffeta monstrosity that made each of the four bridesmaids look like beached whales. As the bride began her march, we were struck by the enormity of her veil – it was a far brighter white than her dress and was worn tall and proud as if it were her own bouffanty hair extension. As she walked, “Because You Loved Me” performed by Celine Dion burst from the speakers and we decided that we didn’t have anywhere near enough wine in us to participate in their celebration anymore, so we headed back to Stephen our bartender and his bar. We wrapped up our tasting and were on our way. We were pretty tuckered out and imagined that Mom probably was too as she had the three kids, two birds, and new dog to contend with.

We piled into the car again on our way home but in search of a gas station. Ken Ken directed us on our way with a gas station about half a mile ahead. In Geneva, things close early, especially on a Sunday so we passed two gas stations before running out of gas and finding ourselves on the side of the road. You’ll enjoy a photo below of the snails that littered the side of the road as we walked for assistance – they were so brightly colored! We walked in the direction of a gas station when we discovered that Ken Ken was directing us back to the closed location – not ideal! I started to call for roadside assistance while we walked toward a house (I’m always prepared just like a boy scout but without all the homophobia). The man who owned the house (or manner as it should rightfully be titled) pointed us in the direction of the closed station so we headed that way for a few yards when we realized that we were headed in the wrong way again. Ken Ken told us that in either direction, the next gas station was at least 7 miles away. That’s quite a walk after a day filled with drinking! I was working on the roadside assistance (which was taking longer than usual because I didn’t know our zip code) when a friendly couple pulled over to check on us. They’d been out for the day for their dog Reggie’s birthday – he was turning 9! They were hoping to take him on a lovely hike but were deterred due to the rain and were heading back home. She thought that we might just be out for an evening stroll when she saw that Chrissy and I were wearing flip-flops and (just like a mother) began to criticize our choice of footwear. Shortly after her motherly criticisms, they passed our broken down car and decided to come to our rescue. They pulled up and offered their assistance, which we gladly accepted. Chrissy and I hopped into their car to go get gas in a tank from their garage. I petted Reggie and he licked my hand – he was sweet! We stopped at their house – which I can only say belonged on Martha’s Vinyard or in the Hamptons – holy crap it was beautiful! They had at least 6 garages and 3 separate buildings (no, not extra sheds, real buildings) and beautiful shutter covered windows overlooking Seneca Lake. I want to be them when I grow up! While we were away, a friendly policeman in a mini van stopped to check on Ron and Frank back at the car but as help was on the way (or their wives were being abducted) they said thank you but no help needed. Don’t worry, we weren’t abducted. Reggie’s parents brought us back to the car, filled it with gas and wished us well. They had so much gas in their tank that it filled up the car a quarter of a tank so Ron said there was plenty to get home – no need to stop and he was right. We just made it home safely to pick up a sleepy mom who was in need of some TLC!

Homeward bound – safe and sound!

Is that too much detail? I’m tired too.

Trivia question #5
Q - What was the name of the Church who provided the pirohi’s?
A - St. Michael’s

Trivia question #6
Q - What is the name of the award given to Binghamton regarding their pirohi status?
A - The Pirohi Pocket of America

Trivia question #7
Q - What is the predominant color of wii mii dresses at Casa de Bates?
A - Purple - purple - purple!

Trivia question #8
Q - How delicious is spray cool whip?
a) delicious – is that even a question? b) slimy and gross c) I don’t know – I was too distracted by the rest of the yummy options d) just alright
A - C - No idea, how crazy is that?

Happy Pirohi Day!

We slept as if it was Christmas Eve and woke up excited for Pirohi day. The holiday we’d all been waiting for had finally arrived and it was glorious! Just so that you know, Mrs. T’s Pirohi’s (the ones in the freezer section anywhere in the country) declared today Pirohi Day in Binghamton because of the delicious nature of the local variety and of course the community support behind them – the triple cities doesn’t fool around with their starchy snacks! We eagerly got ready and drove the half-mile to the Boscov’s plaza in downtown Binghamton. Mom works right near there so we had special people parking in her office lot. With pirohi essence on the breeze, in the distance we saw extraordinary event taking place and hurriedly walked toward the excitement.

While we strolled down Court Street to discover the vendors and their wares, we took a moment to watch a chalk artist who had roped off a large section of street and was creating a large something-or-other. As we were trying to figure out what he was making, he looked up and said “Long time no see, where the heck have you been?” As I wondered how folks still recognize me even though I’m missing 18 inches of hair and am at least 15 pounds lighter than when I last lived here, I racked my brain to figure out who exactly this was he said “It’s me Eric, from Kinko’s” and I remembered (I can only keep so much information in my head – sometimes I need a little prod). He also didn’t wear a jaunty hat or kneepads when we worked together, so understandably, the prod helped. Anyway, Eric used to work with me at Kinko’s (obviously) but he worked in the graphic design and resume building area and truthfully, taught me more than all of college did about how to use a computer. He told me that he’d been doing this sort of thing for a while and showed us a few of his other creations which included the Hulk, Indiana Jones, Batman, Iron Man and a really cool one where it looked like he was falling down a brick hole – very cool! He also told us that his current work was Yoda, so needless to say, Frank was pretty psyched. We popped back a few times and watched it turn into an incredible picture.

You can check out the completed version and more of his work at www.pepperink.com

While we were chatting Mom saw a booth for Antique Road Show (because sometimes things get crazy in downtown Binghamton) and got very excited because her best friend Mal had been willed something she was hoping to have appraised. We continued down the street for the main event while we waited for Mal. Yes, the pirohi line was already forming! We got in line with the other hungry folks and were informed that there were so many pirohi day celebrators that they’d run out and had to bring in another carload and turn away to-go orders so that they could feed their hungry masses. We were just thankful that they were willing to feed us so we got out our $8 in cash so that we could buy pirogues and drinks for 4 (yes everything is a wonderful bargain in Binghamton). We sat down with our plates covered in glossy and beautiful pirogues handmade by little old Ukrainian ladies from St. Michael’s Roman Catholic Church. Delicious!

Mal had her locket and chain appraised and found that if she wanted to be, she would be just about 100 dollars richer, which of course she didn’t want to do but it was nice to find out. We did a bit more walking around, window shopping, and actual shopping and headed home for an afternoon nap – the afternoon sun and fun tuckered us right out!

My sister Chrissy and her family (Ron, Kayla, Jessica, Joshua, Pinkie, Floyd and Bones) invited us (Little Frank, Mom, Big Frank and me) to their house for a barbeque that night so after changing into non-sweaty clothes, we brought our empty bellies to Casa de Bates. Ron tended to the grill while Chrissy put out vegetables, chips, and a delicious fruit-yogurt-granola parfait, which was wonderful (don’t worry, I’ll make it for you guys next week when we have spiedies). We played with their new dog Bones, who was super cute and the kids showed us how to use the wii – and even made wii mii’s! The gang thoughtfully surprised me with early birthday cake and early birthday presents as well.

We’d had a very full day and evening when on our way home, my friend Katie called. She had had a bit of a week from h-e-double-hockey-sticks and found herself in Johnson City for the weekend even though she lives about an hour away in beautiful Ithaca so though we were sad that she’d had a crappy week, we were thrilled to be able to do some proper cheering and distracting without the long drive! We stopped at Wegman’s to pick up all the Ben and Jerry’s they had, a can of spray cool whip along with a box each of 2-bite brownies and chocolate chip peanut butter cookies – with that amount of sugar, the resultant smiles are always immediate!

We had a great visit with Katie, her mom, Big Ed, and Richard (who couldn’t be cuter if he tried) and at midnight realized that it was inappropriately late and headed home.

Wow – quite a full Pirohi Day over all! More to come!

Trivia #1
Q - What was the name of the program we watched with Mom and Dad Friday night?
A - Flashpoint

Trivia question #2
Q - What flavor of ice cream did Andrea order?
A - Red Raspberry Cheesecake

Trivia question #3
Q - What flavor of ice cream did Mom order?
A - Chocolate Peanut Butter

Trivia question #4
Q - How much is a full order of gnocchi from Nick’s?
A - $6.25, I’m a big spender!

Trip home to visit Johnson City

We arrived at the chilly Binghamton airport last night at 12:15am. Exhausted and shivering, but excited to be in my hometown. Mom picked us up and we headed home. Dad and the cats (Bunny, Elmo, and Scroungie) were up and ready to catch up. The next thing we knew it was 2:30am and we headed to bed – those Hendrys really like to chit-chat!

We started today pretty lazily (as we were up well past our bedtimes). Mom and Dad had stocked the kitchen with summertime snacks so Frank and I enjoyed several bowls of fruit – Frank’s favorite! We did some more chit chatting and then headed out to get some shopping done and of course, Wegman’s was first. We spent a lengthy period of time pouring over all the delicious options and came out with 7 bags of groceries and souvenirs – don’t worry though because we bought plenty of spiedie sauce so dinner is at our house next week! We’re finally replenished! We visited Tom’s (our favorite jewelry and handmade stuff store) where we spent another length of time soaking in the sparkle but left empty handed so that we could sleep on it and make just the right choices. We were getting a little famished (home always does that to me) so we stopped at Nirchi’s for a few slices of the best pizza in the world. Dad wanted a spiedie from Pancho’s Pit (where the food is delicious but the kitchen is questionable as the name is accurate – it’s a pit). Three chicken spiedies purchased with cash – no credit cards, checks, or cell phones allowed, they’re not screwing around – and we were on our way. we arrived home to dine on our delicacies and were surprised by my sister Chrissy, and the kids (Kayla, Jessica, and Joshua) who’d stopped by to say hi. We ate and caught up while I went through boxes of treasures from years gone by. As I’m not much of a collector, most of the items were going to be discarded but luckily for me, the nieces and nephew fell in love with many items who fortunately found new homes. Ron (brother-in-law) popped by and we made dinner plans for the evening.

We headed off to Nick’s (Tony’s brother’s restaurant – no, we don’t know Tony, but his food is deliciously infamous but a little more fancy and expensive because of his local fame… oh, and his son isn’t such good people but that’s a story for another time). We arrived and were presented with the most delicious meal of all time – Nick and Tony’s pizza (which has been said to be the best in the world by my aunt Loris and her daughter Leslie), gnocchi (which I swear to God is the best gnocchi you’ll find anywhere) along with lasagna, chicken parmesan, and rigatoni. Though I was lucky to sit next to Jessica and Joshua (who agrees that my gnocchi is freakin’ amazing) I missed out on the people watching, which Frank says was something to behold. There was a person in an American flag blouse/oxford who we assume was continuing his or her Independence Day celebration and making it a month long extravaganza. There were also at least three families dining with their young fancy sons who we envision moving to Orlando in the next few years to work in characters after having a thoroughly uncomfortable conversation with mom and dad. We wish them the best of luck with all that!

We all left filled to the gills (and with plenty to talk about) but had to stop at Pat Mitchell’s (which my mother refers to as an institution) for a late night ice cream snack. We picked up cookies and cream, red-raspberry cheesecake, chocolate peanut butter and cherry vanilla to-go and headed home. Before getting into the car we had a good laugh about Pat Mitchell’s slogan posted both inside and outside the restaurant - “Lick The Legend” which we thought was fairly unappetizing for an eatery of sorts. At least the old man didn’t quote it (a la “Have a Magical Day”) at us because that would have been truly disgusting. Anyway, we closed out the night with some CSI-esque programming and plenty of snacks. I love coming home to visit!

Tomorrow is a holiday in downtown Binghamton – get ready for the excitement!

Happy 4th, 5th, and 6th of July!
May all of your watermelon seeds cross the handle of the second broomstick, may your cheeks puff out majestically like Bob’s do so willingly, and may all your bowls be filled with moose turd-a-licious rosa marina salad!

Damn that Joey Chestnut…. That lightening round was rigged!!!
Kobayashi’s gone up against a bear for God’s sake and is far mightier than that pasty and sweaty American!