After a full day of shopping, wrapping, baking, ribbonning, cleaning, laundering, and cooking, it’s finally time. We’ve been to Jed’s house for the annual story and home, which means Christmas is upon us. The puppies are nestled and sleepy - Stella in her papasan and Phyllis (for the moment) on her freshly laundered bed (she’s bound and determined to snuggle with mommy and daddy but we keep sending her back to her “tortuous” bed).

Frank has drifted off, and As I wind down, I’m watching a mini-marathon of Friends Christmas episodes - my favorite marathon ever! Right now I’m watching the one from the 3rd season where Joey has a job at a Christmas Tree lot and Phoebe thinks it’s Christmas Tree murder… funny stuff.

I hope that you have a terrific holiday tomorrow. I hope that you get everything you’re hoping for and have plenty of sweet bread - can a person get enough breads this time of year?? I don’t think so.

Tomorrow we’ll post photos of our excitement, and video from Jed’s annual “Gift of the Magi” reading.
Merry Christmas!

Wednesday night was possibly the best night ever… until Sunday night. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Wednesday.

First Bob and I headed to Epcot. One of my favorite ensembles was performing and I’d been waiting all season to see them. Yes, Boys II Men has finally come to O-Town. The last time I saw Boys II Men (yes I’ve seen them three times total – and now four) was on my eighteenth birthday. Opening for them (on the day I became old enough to vote) was the hip hoppy gentleman who sang the “This is how we do iiii-it” song (and to be honest with you, he was pretty bad). It was a fun day at some fair ground area in New York or Pennsylvania somewhere and the Boys were terrific, as I knew they would be. They wore crazy matchy costumes if I remember correctly (especially that one with his walking stick who was also quite the dancer – not a typical combination) and they were excellent singers putting on quite a show.

Anyway, (back to this week’s performance) Leslie (Bob’s sister and my new hero) got to the park early and got in line. After a good deal of begging, she agreed to save us a spot so we hustled to the America Gardens Theatre to find the line clear into Germany and still growing (for those of you who don’t know how far that is, just know that it’s far). We hopped into line with Leslie and just moments later they let us (and hundreds of our closest friends) into the amphitheatre - so many that it was bursting at the seams – by far the most crowded that I’ve ever seen that pavilion. We were in the third row and it was so crowded that the gaggle was seated for about five minutes when the whisper of the Boys arrival came across the crowd we all jumped to our feet and stayed there for the duration.

Boys II Men are worth that kind of discomfort and inconvenience.

Anyway, I was genuinely moved during several songs and had several teenaged angst-riddled moments (and for fear that you will pick on me relentlessly, I won’t share their names, but I’m sure you can guess pretty easily - to be honest their whole playlist is pretty embarrassing). My favorite part of the concert was when I looked around and found myself in a crowd of people (most women of course) singing out (and I mean OUT) emotionally and without shame. As I scanned the crowd I noticed that they were all about my age, and thought to myself no one there looked old or un-hip in any way. As I was getting a little full of myself thinking that we were all still quite young and spry actually, the Boys took a moment to thank the crowd for their support for the last 18-years. Ouch. I’ve spoken to proper adults (when I say adults, I always mean OLD people - people like my friend Will who is VERY OLD) who’ve said that they didn’t feel as old as they were and that they were somehow stuck at a certain age - usually somewhere in the late teens or early 20’s. I don’t feel so different from 17 or 18, and seeing the Boys, who I hadn’t seen in 12 years allowed 30 to rear its old ugly head again. I’m going to need to figure out how to be alright with 30 at some point, but it’s sure as hell not today.

Anyway, the show was a terrific one – have a look for yourselves! Make sure to take note of the running-man as it is proudly performed!
Motown-Philly

After the show ended Bob and I hustled out of the park (which is quite a long walk by the way) to make it to Kissimmee in time. Why would we go to Kissimmee late at night and in the cold, you ask? Oh, did I forget to mention the chilly weather? By the time we left Epcot it was about 50 degrees and going down (and yes, that’s cold for Orlando, especially in October… and even colder in flip-flops). Bob and I were meeting Mike Graybill in Kissimmee because our friends – the Big B’s – were speaking and having a rally. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama were coming and scheduled to hit the stage at 11pm. Bob and I fought our way through brutal Osceola County-yee-haw traffic, parked at a trusty Burger King and walked several miles to the end of the line to get in. We waited in the line for about an hour and a half (and walked another long way) until we finally got onto the field. I’ll be honest with you; I was tired, cold, and a little grumpy (my toes were wet after all) but as usual, Bob cheered me up and took good care of me. Graybill had thoughtfully bought us the last two hot chocolates at the venue (bless him) and we waited anxiously for the Big B’s to arrive.

As we drank our DELICIOUS hot cocoa we made some observations about the crowd. True, there were some crazies, for instance the man and his two sons ages 8 and 10 who were attending the event but not going to school the next day (because, as the dad shared, there was more to be learned at this event than at their orange county public school the next day), the obnoxious enthusiasts who clearly napped all day and were offensively peppy, and the hipster beatniks. They were old and young, yuppie and hick, and practically a United Colours of Benetton ad of cultural diversity woven throughout the crowd. I looked around at the excited crowd anticipating the B-arrival together, as a unit, as a gathering of very unlikely friends. Watching them interact with their neighbors, dressed and styled differently than themselves, that wouldn’t typically have anything in common, but at this event, they were together for a common goal - to accomplish something and be a part of something.

The B’s came and spoke and, not at all surprisingly, were both pretty terrific, but what I took away from the event (besides being able to spend the following day saying “I was there” every time someone turned on the news which was pretty cool in and of itself), was the beautifully motley community that the B event inspired… Also, whatever you think and whomever you’re for, it cannot be denied that Bill and Barack are two of the most commanding speakers around.

The only thing that would have put the event over the top is if Boys II Men had appeared on stage to give the B’s a proper introduction. I can almost imagine Bill singing along with feeling in his Arkansan accent to “Bended Knee”, or cutting a southern rug to Motown-Philly. I can dream, can’t I?

Sunday night’s activities? I know you’re excited but you’re just going to have to wait
More tomorrow!

So my belly has been angry for about 5 days now.

Strange.

First of all I had cramps – no surprise this time of the month – but that wasn’t all. My belly felt big, bloated, and angry and I couldn’t figure out why. There was a rumble in my jungle. During the flight, I could feel my stomach churning-churning-churning constantly and was having trouble falling and staying asleep because of it. Frank tried to lean on me at one point, but my angry belly was so tender that I had to send him toward the tank-top wearing, long-underarm-hair lady to his left. You may be thinking to yourself “Just GO Andrea” but I tried that… there was nothing but air inside. As we were sitting in the second airport, Frank had a look and listen to my belly and he made a diagnosis – no it’s not hemoroids and no, I’m not pregnant. He asked if I’d eaten any fiber one bars, and of course I had (they’re like nectar of the gods). In fact, I’d had one or two every day for the past week. I’d been trying to take off a pound or two and fiber one always seems to help with that sort of effort. Well, we all know that fiber one bars make you gassy (I think Mike S - king of gas - found an article calling them gas bars or something) and I’ve always enjoyed that they allow me to have funny party “noises” if you will but this was different. Apparently the type of angry belly gas is typical of fiber one eaters, and I’d just been lucky up until now… trouble.

Anyway, I’ve switched to Kashi Bars on Todd and Rebecca’s recommendations and am feeling pretty terrific. My big bloated belly even went away – thank you Kashi!

After having a refreshing 3 hours of sleep we were up and ready to explore. We picked up a few supplies at a little grocery shop and I made lunch while we drove to Kings Canyon. We didn’t make it that far in last year so we wanted to make sure that we explored it this time around. Once the pb&j’s were made we headed off the walk the General Grant Tree Trail. The general is the third largest living things in the world and was named the National Christmas Tree by some president in the early 1900’s. They have a celebration each year where local folks come out, choirs sing, and holiday merriment is made – this year it’s the second Sunday in December. We’re not coming, but I wouldn’t turn away a free trip out here if someone wanted to give me an early Christmas present – I’m just saying! We also saw a tree named fallen monarch, which is a fallen sequoia that’s been hollowed out and acts as a walkway.

Next we stopped at the Ranger Station at Grant Grove where we got some recommendations for the remainder of the day today, and tomorrow. She highly recommended three hiking trips, and our first was panoramic point. On our drive in that direction we saw several deer romping about – lovely. The hike up to the point wasn’t long but it was steep – thank goodness for the resting benches halfway up! Frank picked on me for it but, a resting bench was just what I needed! From the top, beautiful vistas could be seen. I’d post a picture here, but again, Frank leaves his cords all over the place sometimes.

Our next stop was the big stump trail. Apparently back in the day, folks foolishly chopped down our friends the Sequoias, without regard for their loveliness. On the big stump trail we saw lots of big stumps – surprising I know. The surprising part was how many unused tree bits were still around. Apparently when they chopped down the behemoth trees, nearly killing themselves in the process, they hadn’t figured out a way to use the wood, but just kept a-cutting anyway. We learned last year that sequoia wood doesn’t break down, decay, or go away, and that was definitely the scene on the stump trial – even the saw dust, just waiting around for tourists to feel bad about what the stupid humans did 150 years ago. Stupid white men…. Ugh. A sad sight, but still beautiful nonetheless.

Our last hike of the day was in the Trails of the Redwood Canyon Area. Our ranger friend told us that we’d drive far away to the Quail Flat, then drive down a dirt road for a while until we got to the Redwood Saddle Trialhead so that we could walk the Sugar Bowl Grove Trail. I know, a lot of information. Anyway, we drove for a long while, and then hit the dirt road and started off in that direction. Do you remember me mentioning our not-so-mini-van? It’s not small, but the road was so it was a little treacherous. After a good long while on the dirt road we arrived and it was really beautiful. We were the only people there and it was truly serene. We walked a bit and started to get nervous. Nothing too rational but being alone in a secluded part of the forest just reminds me that I could make a really yummy bear sandwich. We kept on and when we’d made it about 3/4ths of a mile, we felt a drop. The sky over the Giant Forest area had gotten black angry, and was on the move. We felt a drop, and we both gasped. The front desk folks had told us that rain was a possibility and whatever we did, not to get caught out in it… which was all the warning we needed.

We hustled back to our full-sized van and headed out. The rain started a little stronger, and we started seeing mist coming up from the road – clouds were forming right in front of us! Also, as we were driving back up the mountain to Wuksachi Lodge, it was getting REALLY cold. The next thing we knew, there was snow on the ground on the road in front of us. We pulled over to take a good look when we realized that it wasn’t snow, it was hail, and LOTS of it – so much that it covered a good deal of the woods, the road and was dripping off the trees. Now is where I’d show you a picture, but again, no cord. In place of a photo, go ahead and imagine the chilly majestic wood…

We took a few pictures (that you can’t see) and then headed back toward the lodge. You know how after the rain in Animal Kingdom, the safari animals go crazy and frolic to and fro? Apparently that happens everywhere because animals were EVERYWHERE! Deer were galloping about to and fro, birds were twittering, and then the bears came! We saw Mamma Bear and two Baby Bears walk from the side of the road into a meadow where they proceeded to pounce and prance about! They were eagerly lapping up the delicious icy treats – SO CUTE!!!! We were still buzzing about the bears when we got back to the parking lot at Wuksachi Lodge and saw ANOTHER bear! Sleepy Bear (the name we gave him) was wandering across the parking lot and towards the outer lodge buildings for a visit – crazy things happen when it gets cold and wet up here!

We put on some warmer layers and headed to dinner at my favorite (and only) Wuksachi Lodge Restaurant. Once again, the food was great, the service was friendly, and the wine was delicious.

We ended the night by Frank passing out fully clothed and me working on my new crocheting project while I watched the Alaskan GOP welcome home Sarah (does she spell her name with an h? I’d rather not take the time to learn) Palin with quite a tickertape parade…. Sigh. What are you going to do? Sometimes we all deserve a tickertape parade I suppose… even if it makes me shake my head and sigh.

The trip started off with a bang – we rushed out of work and made our flight (thank you Mindi). We found ourselves in Phoenix waiting for the flight that didn’t want to come. Two hours late, we were off in the fanciest plane ever – with a Phoenix Cardinals logo on the side. Frank thinks that the plane belonged to the team because the seats were WAY cushier than the previous flight and leather and comfy. I knew I was always meant to be a Cardinal – I do love birds!

There was one crazy bird (if you will) that we encountered when getting onto the flight. This was clearly a first flight for this particular redneck dressed in a Michigan t-shirt (with the sleeves cut off of course), sport shorts, high-top sneakers, and a rolling Dale Earnhart Jr. suitcase. Classy. He explained to us that we could go before him because he was waiting to snag a left-over first class seat. If I’d only known that last on the plane gets their choice – what a way to fly! Anyway, that wacko walked in about ten minutes later and meandered into coach with the rest of us.

We landed and rolled for quite some time. Apparently our gate was taken or something, but once we landed we rolled for a while and sat on the plane for about 45 minutes waiting to get out. My favorite part of this disorganization was the flight attendant making this announcement, “A child is running up and down the aisles. We are still in motion, and the seatbelt sign is still on. Will the owner of this child please strap it into a seat for safety.”
Priceless.

That was when our Michigan friend put a cigarette into his mouth so that he could smoke it as soon as possible, and got on his cell phone. Telling whoever was on the phone that so-and-so didn’t even know he wasn’t in Michigan, and that he was in town to part-aaay so you’d better get ready. Sometimes it’s hard for me to keep laughter in and I snort a little.

Anyway, several hours late we arrived with too many bags at the rental car location (I know, we really know how to vacation). Oh, and just so that you know, everyone at Dollar rental in Los Angeles is hateful. We chose our car and were on our way when a loud angry beep accompanied by a flashing airbag light came on in the car. Perfect. We drove around the hood of LA long enough to find Dollar again, and chose another car. Unfortunately, there weren’t any reasonable sized cars left, so after several failed attempts, we landed on a van. Not a mini van, but a van. This thing is freaking huge. At least if we pick up 15 or 20 friends here, they can ride back to LA with us. And yes, in case you’re wondering, gas is free here in California so it’s not a big deal…. Ugh.

SEVERAL hours later we landed in Three Rivers, CA at the base of the Sequoia National Park. Our drive up the “hill” was similar to last time, but without that bastard stop light (thank God) and, oh ya, it was dark. Apparently the nighttime is when the animals come out though because on our way up the “hill” we saw a fox, two cats (that frank swears are bobcats), and our first bear of the trip… just walking down the road. He turned around to look at us but went on his way again. Bears are funny (and that’s the theme of the trip so get ready). As we left Mr. Bear, we kept on driving and realized that the sun was coming up, which was why he was awake – it was breakfast time! Lucky us!

We checked in at 6:02am with a very surprised bearded intern-of-sorts, and headed to bed, realizing that we’d forgotten toothbrushes (thank goodness for the bearded-front-desk-man) and frank forgot his wetsuit. I think 60-degree waters should be great for him sans-wetsuit. This triathlon is going to rock!

That’s day number one folks – we’ll keep you posted!

Oh and btw, remember those pictures on M’res’ sight that I told you about? When he shared those with her, he left the cord at their house sooooo, I’ll tell you all about the things we’ve seen and done, but show you none of it – sorry. Blame Frank.

alright, they’re going with “i just met a girl named maria” but that never comes to mind first.

what am i writing about? m’res had her baby this weekend! woo hoo! maria katherine is her name and she’s super cute! we went down to st. pete for a quick visit to see them and the family is doing just fine.

we took some pictures that she posted on her blog and i think my left boob might be famous - enjoy!

Wow, Sedona is beautiful!

Seriously. Sedona is so beautiful that it looks as if the photo background from my 6th grade photos has been pulled down all around us. And it’s like that everywhere! Anywhere you drive near Sedona is breathtaking – behind the grocery store, along the Sedona 192 (touristy strip full of items no one needs), along side the bank, and most importantly, all around our motel. We woke up early and popped our heads outside (because somebody possibly named Todd was cackling at the top of his lungs outside our open window), to find that the famous red rocks were not at all hard to find because they were HUGE and they were everywhere.

We were booked for an early morning Pink Jeep Tour so after a deliciously greasy breakfast in the Coffee Pot (which I highly recommend if you’re ever in Sedona – they have 101 omelets!) we made it to the Pink Jeep location. We were running a bit late but after a good hustle we arrived – I don’t think I mentioned that we were traveling with 9 people (I know that is a lot of people) so it’s a bit more challenging to get that many folks moving in the morning. We were traveling with Todd (who I used to work with in Tomorrowland who was the birthday boy), Rebecca (Todd’s wife), Estalene (Todd’s mom), Pat (Todd’s sister), Deb (Todd’s other sister), Larry (Deb’s husband), and Amanda (Larry’s daughter), so it was a pretty full house – and now you know the players!

The Pink Jeep tour was spectacular even though our tour guide was only a little bit crazy – bless her, she was awfully friendly though! She was thorough and very knowledgeable of the area, but also told us all about her pet chameleon and the trouble he’s had – don’t worry though, he’s back to hissing and biting which makes her very happy (see what I mean?) We were taking a Morgan Family Photo at the top of a big red rock (yes, we’ve been adopted) and we saw a butterfly who flew by in a friendly way and flew a bit closer and then landed on the zipper of my shorts. This is the point when everyone (including those outside the Morgan clan) whipped out their cameras and started taking multiple photos of my crotch – I love it when strangers have pictures of my downstairs’l area. . The butterfly stayed to pose and twirl for everyone (very thoughtful) when our crazy tour guide gingerly removed him so that he could be free (and not move into my shorts).

The coolest part of the tour was that the jeep could scale a mountain with only a little revving – it drove up on great big rocks and then down huge hills. It’s hard to describe but trust me, it was very cool.

We took the crazy tour guide’s dining recommendation for the Cowboy Club where I enjoyed my first prickly pear margarita which became a regular occurrence in our dining routine – delicious!

After a quick lay-down/cool-down (riding in a jeep in the ridiculous Arizona heat can be very taxing) we popped into our front desk to pay up and ask for a vortex recommendation. What’s a vortex you might ask? We don’t know… but the front desk woman (who was wearing animal print stretchy pants, a clingy blouse, and sunglasses that she never took off – even after the sun went down) enthusiastically told us that they were real and we’d HAVE to visit one. She gave us directions to find her favorite and very powerful vortex while telling us that we’d definitely “feel” it and “see” it, even though it can’t be seen and our watches might even stop from the electromagnetic energy. Yes, I know. That seems ridiculous, but she was passionate and animated when talking about it and Todd had always wanted to “see” one so we were off. After several frustrating wrong turns from the crazy front desk lady’s directions, we found ourselves at a park that seemed to be the right place.

We’d asked for directions several times and tried to play it cool but we were pretty much over it and wanted to just get straight answers, so Todd (who was driving) pulled forward so that Rebecca and I (the bossy backseat drivers) could take control of this lingering question. There was a bright faced young man at the ranger’s station/entry kiosk ready to answer our questions. I explained that we were looking for a vortex, whatever the hell that was, and that we weren’t crazy believers or anything, but just wanted to go “see” one and could he please direct us to the vortex location. The “ranger” aka: Crikey-Dave (clearly an Australian import) had a good humored laugh, telling us that it was a bit of a walk and that we’d be close if we parked close and walked a bit when (like a stripper out of a birthday cake) Dave’s opinionated girlfriend/fellow ranger popped up from below him in the window (eeeew). Crikey-Dave’s girlfriend told us that vortexes were scientifically proven and very much real because she had made a list of the characteristics of the perfect partner and written it down at a vortex (she didn’t say which one) and Crikey-Dave showed up miraculously two weeks later. We held back our rolling eyes, and gag reflexes and listened long enough to hear Crikey-Dave tell us that they’re supposed to be so powerful that we should already be feeling “it”. Skeptical Rebecca and Sarcastic Andrea held our watches up to our ears and once we heard that they were still working allowed ourselves to roll our eyes before venturing into the park to discover an invisible and sign-less but scientifically proven and very real vortex.

The park was beautiful (and we’ll post photos for you to enjoy) but apparently our disbelief of the vortex angered it and threw Deb (Todd’s sister) down a ravine (or into a rock or something) in the park. She wouldn’t let us photograph it, but trust me, it’s reason alone to become a believer.

The theme of the trip seems to be our experiences with crazy people. Don’t get too jealous, more crazy’s are to come!

Holy crap. It’s hot here.

After a long time on various planes with great big wide legged men next to us, we landed in Phoenix. We got our luggage and just in time, the Morgans (our traveling companions) were coming to pick us up so we headed outside. Holy crap. It was 9:15pm and as we walked outside, were smacked in the face with an oven’s worth of blasting heat without the delicious chocolate brownie scent that one would associate with such a sensation. Feeling claustrophobic and panicky, I stopped a woman who looked southwestern (or at least like she wasn’t being affected by the unreasonable heat radiating all around us. I asked her if it was really this hot outside or if was just because of the pavement, cars, and closed-in-ness of the airport. She told me that it was cool like this at night – usually about 100 degrees. I (almost argumentatively) spat out No, I said hot like this! Which is when she laughed at me a little and said yes, it’s hot here, shaking her head and walked away.

Where the hell are we?

Blaine – you grew up here and lived here for 22 years. What the hell?
Ralph – you too! Ridiculus!

Anyway, once they picked us up and turned on the ac, I was quickly able to acclimate to the Arizona-in-August experience (so long as it was in an air-conditioned vehicle). We made a quick stop at in and out burger (where I had the most delicious chocolate milkshake I’ve ever had) and drove to our motel in Sedona where we crashed hard.

Saturday, July 19th - Part Two
It’s STILL my birthday!

We caught back up to the group who assumed we’d chickened out because we’d only been gone 15 minutes (apparently they were under the impression that we were going to take time to get to know our nude neighbors, but boy were they wrong). It was time to get ready and catch the boat for our Sunset Snorkeling Adventure! We rushed and ran to the dock to take celebrating my birthday in style up one more notch! The water was beautiful and the boys running the boat were of model quality (at least that’s what I’m assuming by the number of photos Mike and Jed took of them). As we were getting to the protected reef, the water got a bit rougher and by the time we anchored, there were white foamy waves on the water where we’d be snorkeling.

Though it was beautiful, once we got into the water we were thrown around as much as one might be thrown about in that wavepool from hell at Typhoon Lagoon – so yes, a little rough is a mild description. I wasn’t feeling so hot and by the time I got back onto the boat after being in the water for an hour, I felt pretty horrible. Mike G. had thrown up in the water (which apparently brings the most beautiful fish very close – just a tip) and then on the boat several more times. Hope was feeling nauseated and looked glassy eyed. I decided to lie down on Frank’s lap to try the trip back with my eyes closed to ward off the yacks. After having my head down for a few minutes a strong wave of nausea came over me and Frank sent me down to the bathroom in the boat…. Not a great recommendation. If I felt sick before going downstairs in to the fecal mater capital of everywhere and everything, the smell of the debris covered room only made it worse. I hadn’t even closed the door before my full and flavorful lunch from Caroline’s shot out and then again, because apparently the margarita and fries I consumed were also offensive to my fragile belly. 4 rounds of yacking later I emerged, white and clammy. While I was below deck, Mike G. and Hope had set up a sickbay of sorts in the center most area of the boat that they now welcomed me into with open arms. The truly sad part of this is that there was a delicious menagerie of complimentary beverages for the trip back that the three of us couldn’t participate in (but don’t worry, that didn’t stop Frank, Jed, and Mike M. from sampling them thoroughly).

We watched bitterly as the boys drank and congratulated themselves and we sipped on plastic cups of water. As we were about to park the boat, Mike G. had one more round in him and having already christened the other three sides of the boat, tossed the last bits of his shrimp-filled lettuce wrap off the final side of the boat – he’s thorough!

We got back to the house and I decided that I wasn’t feeling up to going out and getting crazy so we decided to put on our pajamas and spend the night in. The boys had bought fish and steak earlier in the weekend to grill but the idea of eating what I’d just thrown up (did I mention that I had a blackened mahi mahi sandwich for lunch?) was not something I was prepared to do so we ordered Papa John’s. The gang surprised me with a delicious strawberry-and-cream-filled cake that after a bit I was even able to eat a bite of – my birthday wish came true!

That’s how you ring in a 30th birthday with style!

Don’t get jealous – one more day of excitement to come!

Saturday, July 19th - Part One
It’s my birthday!

Sweet and wonderful Frank took the girls for an early morning walk so that I could sleep in. I woke up to find that thoughtful and beautiful Hope bought doughnuts and muffins for breakfast. I opened super birthday presents while we enjoyed our lazy Saturday morning and then we put a stop to the laziness and got ready for the good times! First thing, first – off to Key West’s own Butterfly Museum. A nice museum man told us all sorts of stuff about some scary big moths and how moths differ from butterflies – a learning experience for all!

We ate lunch at Caroline’s - my favorite Key West restaurant. Everyone thoroughly enjoyed their HUGE meals and cleaned their plates. During lunch, due to some heckling from the rest of the gang, it occurred to Mike M. and I that it was probably time to complete another item on the list. Yes, you guessed it – it was Naked Margarita Time.

For those of who don’t know the details of this particular ridiculousness, I’ll explain. One of my unfinished 30-before-30 list items was to drink naked margaritas. There is a clothing-optional bar there, on Duval Street called the Garden of Eden where I’d never been, but had always heard about and this seemed like the sort of adventurous thing that a 30th birthday called for. I didn’t want to embark on this adventure alone, (goodness knows what sorts of crazies would pray on a lonesome naked gal) but unfortunately most of my traveling companions politely declined the invitation. Fortunately for me, Mike M. is a handsome single man who is game for just about anything, and he thought it seemed like the sort of craziness he was eager to participate in. Back to the story…

Mike M. and I headed to the restroom at Caroline’s to take one last look at “ourselves” to make sure that we were “show ready” if you will… (and we will). We were as ready as we were going to get (which really means that our stomachs had started to rumble and we were really beginning to freak out). We’d left the bill for the rest of the gang (aka: the non-participants) and walked quickly and frantically to the Garden of Eden. We agreed that we just had to do it, get there and get it done, so that we wouldn’t chicken out. We marched into the bar and up the stairs. The Garden of Eden (the bar, not the original biblical version) is on the roof, so we walked up one flight of stairs and concerned and confused, realized that it wasn’t the roof. Have no fear though, after looking around frantically, we found a flight of stairs and a sign so we timidly climbed another flight, finding ourselves on the roof. We knew right away that we were in the right place because a naked man was sitting on a towel on a barstool at the bar. I didn’t look too closely, but Mike M. checked to make sure that everything was available to see, and according to him, everything was very available.

We looked around to the rest of the bar for a private place to have our margaritas and were thwarted. Oh there was a bar and probably even fixin’s for margaritas but privacy was not an option - a rooftop bar doesn’t exactly have separate sections or partitions. We counted 7 patrons along with the bartender who at this point had realized what we were there for. We were not sticking to the plan of “keeping cool” by anyone’s imagination. We were sweaty, panicky, and jumpy. The bartender (who was wearing tie-wasted pants and a string bikini) told us that there were showers in case we were interested (something I rudely dismissed) and told us that we could take off as much or as little as we wanted to. She’d figured us out. I had a nasty case of the dry mouth syndrome, because as most of you know I’m a little chatty and usually this would give me the perfect opportunity to share our plan, making it a funny story, and win her over… but I didn’t want to win her over. I didn’t want her to remember us, or even pay any special attention to us, but our fidgety, frantic nature was taking priority and that seemed like an unlikely objective. Mike M. pointed out a piece of railing and palm tree to be our designated drinking location and we ordered. I asked for 2 margaritas on the rocks (since the urgency of our slurping would rule out the frozen sort – no one wants an ice cream headache), when our string bikini’d bartender told us that the two-for-one margaritas were on downstairs. We giggled and said that we were in the right place and just wanted two of her special rooftop margaritas – which she informed us had been called the best on the island (again, not something we wanted to hang around to find out about, but I digress). We headed to our selected slice of banister and got to business. I started to take off my watch, jewelry, and glasses. Mike M. took his top layer shirt (because boys in Florida should rarely wear one layer for fear of the sweaty monster within) and gave me a frantic “you’d better start taking something real off” look when I told him that if I were to take ANY clothes off, private moments would be shared, which was not the case for him in his layered glory so I was merely pacing myself. In a moment, he was down to his underoos so it was time for me to remove something meaningful and in the attempt to do so I got stuck inside my shirt when trying to do a tricky bra-tshirt combination of removal… I stopped being fancy, as did Mike M. and we just pulled it all off.

That’s when we’re fairly sure that we heard cheering, and hooting from the bar. We didn’t look around though, because we had an unspoken agreement to look straight ahead – at each other’s faces only – and drink, drink, drink! We only had to stay naked as long as there was margarita to drink so drink we did! In unison, at some point during our frantic slurping we both realized how much nicer it was there, in no clothes with a cool drink and the lovely breeze, than it had been all day in our sticky clothes two stories down. We giggled about it a little and then Mike M. said “Time to drink”! So we wrapped up our glasses of tequila and hurriedly put our damp clothes back on. Our seven-minutes in hell was finally over! We turned around to find the bartender cheering and waving her girls around eagerly as she’d freed them from their bikini’d harnesses by wrapping the little bit of fabric around her ladies as if it were acting as border to her gal-parts. Priceless. I’m glad I tipped her $5 as anything less than that would be seen as an insult for the “show” we subsequently received! As we were rushing to get down the stairs and appreciate the conversations that we were trying to evacuate from a big handsome man stopped us to thank us for our big reveal and tell us that it was the best 5 minutes of his day.

That’s a compliment I’ll take to the bank!

The famous and beautiful Martha Thelma Buchta is our winner! She will be receiving her prize shortly in the mail - please congratulate her heartily and enviously. I’ve also added the answers (for your reading enjoyment) to the questions throughout the blog.

Oh, and yes, the final (and most interesting) days of our trip to Key West are still just about finished! We’ve saved the best for last!

Trivia question #17
Q - How long did Phyllis sleep in the car on the way to Key West?
A - Zero minutes

Trivia question #18
Q - How many fiber one bars did Andrea eat in the car on the way to Key West?
A - Two and a half - that’s alot of gas!

Trivia question #19
Q - What sort of dangerous alcohol was in Andrea’s first Key West beverage?
A - Grain Alcohol - only the finest for me!

Trivia question #20
Q - Where did we see our first chicken of the weekend?
A - Mallory Square

Friday, 7/18

We set the alarm for 5am Friday morning and due to our 1am load of laundry, we ripped ourselves from the sheets at 5:35am – later than anticipated but not too bad. We had to finish packing (no surprise there) and attempt to load up the Vue with luggage, snacks, cooler, dog beds, dog food, dog toys, dog treats, dog bowls and of course the girls. Did I mention that we were bringing Stella and Phyllis? When we planned the trip, we decided to bring the girls because Key West is so dog friendly and thought that it would make us more at ease to have the dogs with us…. That was before we had to try to pack all the dog crap into the ever-shrinking Vue and then enjoy the good times it is to coax the dogs into the cramped car. We only had to head back home once to get something we’d forgotten so we took our “smooth” morning as a good omen.

Let me just say that Frank is especially fun on road trips. He plays games with me, chit chats about anything at all, and (probably because of his lack of ipod), puts up with my incessant girly music and show tunes, so I was excited to be on the road. After we took our time on the road to enjoy the view (especially the sparkly aqua water), a few potty stops (apparently dogs can’t hold it that long, however much I’d like to keep moving), several fiber one bars (Frank’s so lucky), and about 7 hours we arrived in beautiful Key West.

We’d rented a house since the gang was joining us and that turned out to be a TERRIFIC idea - it was beautiful, open with lots of light, was colorful, and private. Hope had arrived a bit earlier so we told her to wrap up her bikini wax and pedicure and come on over. We freshened up (because after 7 hours in the car I truly look like a homeless person) and decided to explore some of the island…. And when I say explore some of the island I mean go out for a frozen beverage from the Flying Monkey and a Chocolate Covered Key Lime Pie on a stick – mmmmm delicious! Shortly after our afternoon of shopping and delicious treat eating the boys arrived. Now that Jed, Mike, and Mike were there, it was time to properly enjoy the island! We all headed down to Mallory Square for the sunset celebration. We searched to find the man who juggles the cats and the rest of the crazies and just at sunset we found the lot of them. It was a beautiful evening and the island was super crowded – just the right atmosphere for a birthday weekend!

I consulted online advice from regulars and locals to find the best dinner spot for our first night on the island and so we’d planned and made reservations to have dinner at Santiago’s Bodega a locally owned tapas restaurant…. What none of the reviews said, was that we’d have to walk through the Harlem of Key West to get there. After noticing several unsavory sorts we finally arrived at the tiny location. When I say tiny, I really mean tiny. There were four tables inside the restaurant and one outside. We checked in and the six of us were seated inside – something we were grateful of because we were hella hot from the July heat and lengthy stroll. It wasn’t necessarily air-conditioned but there were fans, which made it a bit cooler. We ordered drinks and eagerly looked at the variety on the menu. This would be the last good service we’d experience at Santiago’s Bodega. When we were almost decided, the hostess came to the table to tell us that we’d taken someone else’s table and wanted to know if we really had a reservation or were crashing. After an uncomfortable back and forth, she discovered that we had similar last names and she supposed they’d have to sit outside. Then the drinks came…. But not with glasses, napkins, or silverwear. Once the glasses did arrive, the restaurant was apparently out of wine glasses so he delivered beer pints for us to drink our sangria out of – not the end of the world though. Orders were placed and once we’d told him what we wanted, he proceeded to roll his eyes and explain that even though we’d ordered separately, that’s not how it’s done and frustratingly explained how tapas works…. Which would be understandable if we hadn’t made a reservation several weeks in advance – wouldn’t that kind of forethought tell him that we’d probably done some research? But I digress. This was the point when we made friends with the chatty English lady and her family at the table next to us. You should know that the table next to us was only about 5 inches away from our table, so we were practically sitting together – why not make the best of it! Jed foolishly asked for a pitcher of water to which I think the server actually growled at him and then in one refilling moment, dropped Mike M.’s glass onto him. Our new English lady-friend found this all loudly amusing and wildly inappropriate with a good sense of humor. Though the service was deplorable, the food was really fantastic – interesting, full of flavor and portions that were quite plentiful but when it was time we knew immediately that this clearly wasn’t going to be somewhere that the idea of separate checks was likely to be embraced. We scrounged up what cash we had (thank goodness, we had quite a bit as it was the beginning of the weekend) paid and began our trek back through crack-town.

We headed back to our beautiful house for a dip in the pool and to relax. Jed, of course, passed out immediately upon returning home, crawling into a ball onto the side chair in the living room and the rest of us went to enjoy a splish-splash in our private pool – how fancy are we?!?!

Well, all of us except for sleepy Jed.

… and it was filled with adventure! I’ll post the details soon.

Thank you to everyone who thought of me

Trivia question #13
Q - What is the lake that feeds the Buttermilk Falls?
A - Cayuga Lake

Trivia question #14
Q - Which was our favorite Ithaca slogan?
a) Ithaca is gorges b) Ithaca is not George’s c) Ithaca is cold d) Ithaca is gay e) Barack is gorges f) McCain is not gorges
A - Ithaca is gorges

Trivia question #15
Q - Frank bought a piece of themed merchandise from Mr. Brozetti – what did he buy?
A - A beer glass

Trivia question #16
Q - According to Frank’s GPS, how long was our hike in Buttermilk State Park?
A - One hour and eleven minutes - just under a mile

One More Adventure

Totally forgot to mention one funny thing from last night… Mom drove us home at about 9:45pm and we were starving. After calling several pizza distributors (trying to steer as clear of Papa John’s as possible, but we were hungry) we learned that Brozetti’s could make us a third of a pizza as long as we could come pick it up. We agreed and headed that way. We were thankful and courteous – it was late after all – when Mr. Brozetti (or at least that’s who I assume he was since his picture was on the pizza box I was holding) asked if I wanted to sing for my meal in a knowing sort of way. I don’t remember ever meeting Mr. Brozetti but his knowing look spread into a wide “good to see you” smile so I quickly realized that I must have met him at some point and it was probably in the midst of a musical engagement of some sort. I smiled back (the man was holding my pizza after all) and told him that we were far too hungry to sing for our meal this time but promised to return the favor next time. He seemed appeased and generously gave us a key chain that sings the Brozetti’s commercial song (797-9960 – call Brozettis’ for pizza to-go). Again, I’m not sure how folks keep recognizing me, but if it gets me complimentary key chains then I’ll take it!

Anyway, (now it’s Monday again) we’d eaten our fill and visited our favorite places throughout Binghamton but hadn’t spent any time in Ithaca yet and had an urge for a bit of nature so the waterfalls of Ithaca was our destination. Mom, Little Frank, and I piled into the car for our final adventure of the week – hiking the waterfalls.

We enjoyed a beautiful hour-long drive and arrived in Ithaca. Ithaca is like a big bowl of crunchy granola goodness surrounded by hills, and mountains that were carved out by ice, snow, and dinosaurs I think – those little arms can really get to digging when they put their whole hearts into it! Because of the digging dinosaurs, there are bunches of beautiful waterfalls, lakes, and gorges throughout the area. The last time I brought Frank to Ithaca we went to see Tughanic Falls so this time I thought that we’d visit another location – Buttermilk Falls State Park.

Mom and I used the sketchy bathroom upon arrival and started our hike. The weather couldn’t have been more different than the day before because it was absolutely clear with a light breeze and fluffy bits of cloud cover. We wove through the Rim Trail and hopped onto the Gorge Trail that went a bit lower and closer to the water so that Mom and I could dip our toes into the water – and yes in case you were wondering, of course we I was wearing flip-flops. We took our time to enjoy the walk – ne need to hurry – and made it down to the bottom in about half an hour. At the bottom there was the biggest waterfall yet and a swimming area that was so inviting we wondered why we hadn’t brought our bathing suits. We sat for a bit – Mom was the brave one who put both of her feet fully into the chilly water (she’s a bit of a daredevil). We walked slower still back up the gorge – it was steep and we took our time to catch our breath (because we seriously needed to) and turned up back on the top hungry and ready for lunch.

We went into the Ithaca Commons to visit the Moosewood Restaurant – a favorite of ours – where the food is always great and the service is a little disinterested (you can’t have everything). We walked around and looked in shops a bit and then realized that one dessert between the three of us wasn’t enough, so we headed off to Purity Ice Cream. We enjoyed our ice cream (I had a large scoop of the Upstate New York which is vanilla malt ice cream with grapenuts, swirls of fudge, and chocolate cows on a sugar cone), then we tapped into Purity’s wifi to find out where the local EMS store was to pick up some supplies for our upcoming Grand Canyon craziness. The EMS experts agreed with Frank (no surprise there) that I can’t wear flip-flops for the hike down the canyon and had a giggle at my expense. I love that.

Homeward bound to relax and recuperate. While watching Antique Road Show with my parents we heard one disappointed antique owner say that even though she didn’t hear what she wanted, she came with her neighbor and the best antiques are old friends. Just a little wisdom to share with you… You’re welcome.

The Lampheres called for us to come over to their house for dinner later on that night and started to sing the Brozetti’s song through the phone so we knew they meant business – they crack me up! We popped up the hill for some pizza and to catch up and found that once again, the time had gotten the best of us and it was midnight so we headed home to get ready for our full day of traveling tomorrow.

What a wild weekend with Mom and Dad in Binghamton? Thanks for spending it with us – keep an eye out though because in just a few short days we’ll be writing from Key West for the Birthday Weekend Extravaganza! Woo hoo!

Trivia question #9
Q - Which cat joins Mom in her nightly solitaire game?
A - Scroungie

Trivia question #10
Q - What product claims that 30 is the new 20?
A - Vitamin Water

Trivia question #11
Q - How many wines did Andrea taste?
A - Too much wine to count

Trivia question #12
Q - What sorts of wooden crafts does the Falls Wood Craft Gift Shop sell?
a) holiday ornaments b) lawn ornaments c) animal statues d) all of the above
A - D - all of the above

Wine Tasting Sunday (this is a long one - get ready or prepare to skim)

Up early because it’s wine tasting day! Chrissy and Ron (sister and brother-in-law) decided to join us on our wine tasting extravaganza. For Chrissy’s birthday this year, Ron surprised her with a bed and breakfast wine tasting combination and she spoke so highly of it, we decided to give it a whirl. There are a bunch of wineries around the Cayuga and Seneca Lakes so since Chrissy and Ron were experts of the Seneca Wineries, that’s where we headed.

Mom generously agreed to baby-sit the kids so that we could all get away for a few hours. On our way to the lake we stopped at Sweeny’s market which can only be described as a down home country store. With a bull perched precariously on the roof we knew we were in the right place. Though they had a wide variety of jerky, we didn’t let it tempt us! We grabbed some drinks and hit the road with Chrissy in the driver’s seat. We brought our GPS which we renamed Ken Ken (instead of Tom Tom) because we changed his voice to represent our Austrailian friends – we saw their carefree lifestyle as a celebration to our day of wine tasting.

Our first winery was closed – not a good sign but it was only 11:30am and technically alcohol can’t be sold in New York until noon, so we headed up the lake to quench our thirst. The first open winery we visited was the Silver Springs Winery. We met Don Giovanni a seventh generation alcohol distributor with a bangin’ fu-man stash and accompanying ponytail – he allegedly brought the family out of their bootlegging roots. He was a knowledgeable and passionate wine maker who has strong opinions about most things – no middle of the road for him! Oh, and they also allegedly have a patent on their unusual wine label logo.

The second winery we hit was Atwater Estate Vinyards where a lonely fellow from the previous winery followed us. We didn’t get his name but he was friendly enough so we asked him to be a part of our photo and I gave him a warm hug that I think he thoroughly enjoyed.
I’m a giver.
The view at Atwater was really beautiful even through the drizzle and fog – I’m sure it’d be a wonderful time to spend some time. We also bought our passports at Atwater Estates. The passport entitles you to visit 28 wineries around the lake for $12 which is a bargain but I kind of doubt that we’re going to get that much in us today – if 9 is too many, 28 definitely is.

The next winery was Hazlitt Vinyards or as my sister named it, Home of the Red Cat. They had Red Cat and White Cat wine but also had a grey cat sitting in the doorway who didn’t mind being petted – I love to pet cats! There was a crazy drunken man working there who took our photo – not sure how good it was as he was a little wobbly. Their gift shop had all manner of things including Thongs and jello shot kits with their Red Cat logo. I didn’t see any takers but I’m sure after a few more wineries, wine themed thongs are going to seem like a must buy item.

Off we go again!

We had planned to stop at our next Winery as soon as we saw the sign – Penguin Bay Winery was next on our list! We were cut off by two shiny escalades on our way into the parking lot being driven by (surprise surprise) folks visiting from Long Island. I’m not judging, I’m just pointing out similarities between folks from Long Island and New Jersey. Back on the ranch, the Penguin Bay had mango flavored wines, a disappearing bartender, and looked a little like a great big house on wheels – clearly not my favorite. BUT, have no fear – there was a redeeming factor to this location! Adjacent to the property a camper was parked and being held up by a bear! Can’t go wrong with that - take a look!

We were filled up with wine and a little tipsy so it was time for a nap and lunch. Wagner Vinyards took about 15 minutes to get to, had a great view, a restaurant, wine tasting, and a brewery – clearly this was our next stop! The drizzle had turned to full-blown rain so we waited it out over lunch where the boys sampled some local beer (because they just hadn’t had quite enough liquids yet). Once we got into the wine tasting, I’m pretty sure that the Wagner’s folks were trying to get us good and drunk. We sampled ten – yes ten – wines and even managed to enjoy a few of them! The brewery option cost an extra dollar per person and since Ron and Frank are big spenders, they got out their quarters and signed up. They drank and drank and drank and no longer sober, we were on our way once again.

The combination of wine and beer inspired Ron to declare that the next winery we visit would be Passion Feet because passion is good, and we have feet so that’s where we stopped but were surprised to discover that this next complex had four wineries at the same stop – this is getting more dangerous! Passion Feet was super girly (pink walls and wine flavors such as scandelicious, flirtation, earn your beads, and heart pounding crush) so not so surprisingly everything was really fruity, sweet, and delicious. We were directed by the foul-mouthed bartender to walk through the woods to another included winery called Rogues Hollow. We walked through the only swamp I’ve seen in New York and reminded me so much of the Big Bamboo I was too frightened to sit. Their wines were also pretty girl but had terribly inappropriate titles that I’ll not share – feel free to google if you’re feeling brave (but you probably shouldn’t do it at work).

The second foul-mouthed bartender told us that most of the wineries would be closing soon (because it was Upstate New York and Sunday) and 5pm marks closing time. We checked our trusty passports and found that the one Chrissy and Ron were most excited about was open until 8pm so we headed off (just in case it was a typo) to get there before the clock struck.

We were low on gas and thought to stop but wanted to make sure that we made it to Bellhurst in time so Ron said we’d be fine and we opted to wait (this is foreshadowing). We made it to Belhurst in time for a wedding to start. We asked for our first tasting and then stepped out onto the balcony to enjoy the show. The set up overlooked Seneca Lake and as it had stopped raining and the sun was peaking out, was a really beautiful thing to see. The bridesmaids walked proudly down the isle in a shiny burnt rust rusched (sp?) taffeta monstrosity that made each of the four bridesmaids look like beached whales. As the bride began her march, we were struck by the enormity of her veil – it was a far brighter white than her dress and was worn tall and proud as if it were her own bouffanty hair extension. As she walked, “Because You Loved Me” performed by Celine Dion burst from the speakers and we decided that we didn’t have anywhere near enough wine in us to participate in their celebration anymore, so we headed back to Stephen our bartender and his bar. We wrapped up our tasting and were on our way. We were pretty tuckered out and imagined that Mom probably was too as she had the three kids, two birds, and new dog to contend with.

We piled into the car again on our way home but in search of a gas station. Ken Ken directed us on our way with a gas station about half a mile ahead. In Geneva, things close early, especially on a Sunday so we passed two gas stations before running out of gas and finding ourselves on the side of the road. You’ll enjoy a photo below of the snails that littered the side of the road as we walked for assistance – they were so brightly colored! We walked in the direction of a gas station when we discovered that Ken Ken was directing us back to the closed location – not ideal! I started to call for roadside assistance while we walked toward a house (I’m always prepared just like a boy scout but without all the homophobia). The man who owned the house (or manner as it should rightfully be titled) pointed us in the direction of the closed station so we headed that way for a few yards when we realized that we were headed in the wrong way again. Ken Ken told us that in either direction, the next gas station was at least 7 miles away. That’s quite a walk after a day filled with drinking! I was working on the roadside assistance (which was taking longer than usual because I didn’t know our zip code) when a friendly couple pulled over to check on us. They’d been out for the day for their dog Reggie’s birthday – he was turning 9! They were hoping to take him on a lovely hike but were deterred due to the rain and were heading back home. She thought that we might just be out for an evening stroll when she saw that Chrissy and I were wearing flip-flops and (just like a mother) began to criticize our choice of footwear. Shortly after her motherly criticisms, they passed our broken down car and decided to come to our rescue. They pulled up and offered their assistance, which we gladly accepted. Chrissy and I hopped into their car to go get gas in a tank from their garage. I petted Reggie and he licked my hand – he was sweet! We stopped at their house – which I can only say belonged on Martha’s Vinyard or in the Hamptons – holy crap it was beautiful! They had at least 6 garages and 3 separate buildings (no, not extra sheds, real buildings) and beautiful shutter covered windows overlooking Seneca Lake. I want to be them when I grow up! While we were away, a friendly policeman in a mini van stopped to check on Ron and Frank back at the car but as help was on the way (or their wives were being abducted) they said thank you but no help needed. Don’t worry, we weren’t abducted. Reggie’s parents brought us back to the car, filled it with gas and wished us well. They had so much gas in their tank that it filled up the car a quarter of a tank so Ron said there was plenty to get home – no need to stop and he was right. We just made it home safely to pick up a sleepy mom who was in need of some TLC!

Homeward bound – safe and sound!

Is that too much detail? I’m tired too.

Trivia question #5
Q - What was the name of the Church who provided the pirohi’s?
A - St. Michael’s

Trivia question #6
Q - What is the name of the award given to Binghamton regarding their pirohi status?
A - The Pirohi Pocket of America

Trivia question #7
Q - What is the predominant color of wii mii dresses at Casa de Bates?
A - Purple - purple - purple!

Trivia question #8
Q - How delicious is spray cool whip?
a) delicious – is that even a question? b) slimy and gross c) I don’t know – I was too distracted by the rest of the yummy options d) just alright
A - C - No idea, how crazy is that?

Happy Pirohi Day!

We slept as if it was Christmas Eve and woke up excited for Pirohi day. The holiday we’d all been waiting for had finally arrived and it was glorious! Just so that you know, Mrs. T’s Pirohi’s (the ones in the freezer section anywhere in the country) declared today Pirohi Day in Binghamton because of the delicious nature of the local variety and of course the community support behind them – the triple cities doesn’t fool around with their starchy snacks! We eagerly got ready and drove the half-mile to the Boscov’s plaza in downtown Binghamton. Mom works right near there so we had special people parking in her office lot. With pirohi essence on the breeze, in the distance we saw extraordinary event taking place and hurriedly walked toward the excitement.

While we strolled down Court Street to discover the vendors and their wares, we took a moment to watch a chalk artist who had roped off a large section of street and was creating a large something-or-other. As we were trying to figure out what he was making, he looked up and said “Long time no see, where the heck have you been?” As I wondered how folks still recognize me even though I’m missing 18 inches of hair and am at least 15 pounds lighter than when I last lived here, I racked my brain to figure out who exactly this was he said “It’s me Eric, from Kinko’s” and I remembered (I can only keep so much information in my head – sometimes I need a little prod). He also didn’t wear a jaunty hat or kneepads when we worked together, so understandably, the prod helped. Anyway, Eric used to work with me at Kinko’s (obviously) but he worked in the graphic design and resume building area and truthfully, taught me more than all of college did about how to use a computer. He told me that he’d been doing this sort of thing for a while and showed us a few of his other creations which included the Hulk, Indiana Jones, Batman, Iron Man and a really cool one where it looked like he was falling down a brick hole – very cool! He also told us that his current work was Yoda, so needless to say, Frank was pretty psyched. We popped back a few times and watched it turn into an incredible picture.

You can check out the completed version and more of his work at www.pepperink.com

While we were chatting Mom saw a booth for Antique Road Show (because sometimes things get crazy in downtown Binghamton) and got very excited because her best friend Mal had been willed something she was hoping to have appraised. We continued down the street for the main event while we waited for Mal. Yes, the pirohi line was already forming! We got in line with the other hungry folks and were informed that there were so many pirohi day celebrators that they’d run out and had to bring in another carload and turn away to-go orders so that they could feed their hungry masses. We were just thankful that they were willing to feed us so we got out our $8 in cash so that we could buy pirogues and drinks for 4 (yes everything is a wonderful bargain in Binghamton). We sat down with our plates covered in glossy and beautiful pirogues handmade by little old Ukrainian ladies from St. Michael’s Roman Catholic Church. Delicious!

Mal had her locket and chain appraised and found that if she wanted to be, she would be just about 100 dollars richer, which of course she didn’t want to do but it was nice to find out. We did a bit more walking around, window shopping, and actual shopping and headed home for an afternoon nap – the afternoon sun and fun tuckered us right out!

My sister Chrissy and her family (Ron, Kayla, Jessica, Joshua, Pinkie, Floyd and Bones) invited us (Little Frank, Mom, Big Frank and me) to their house for a barbeque that night so after changing into non-sweaty clothes, we brought our empty bellies to Casa de Bates. Ron tended to the grill while Chrissy put out vegetables, chips, and a delicious fruit-yogurt-granola parfait, which was wonderful (don’t worry, I’ll make it for you guys next week when we have spiedies). We played with their new dog Bones, who was super cute and the kids showed us how to use the wii – and even made wii mii’s! The gang thoughtfully surprised me with early birthday cake and early birthday presents as well.

We’d had a very full day and evening when on our way home, my friend Katie called. She had had a bit of a week from h-e-double-hockey-sticks and found herself in Johnson City for the weekend even though she lives about an hour away in beautiful Ithaca so though we were sad that she’d had a crappy week, we were thrilled to be able to do some proper cheering and distracting without the long drive! We stopped at Wegman’s to pick up all the Ben and Jerry’s they had, a can of spray cool whip along with a box each of 2-bite brownies and chocolate chip peanut butter cookies – with that amount of sugar, the resultant smiles are always immediate!

We had a great visit with Katie, her mom, Big Ed, and Richard (who couldn’t be cuter if he tried) and at midnight realized that it was inappropriately late and headed home.

Wow – quite a full Pirohi Day over all! More to come!

Trivia #1
Q - What was the name of the program we watched with Mom and Dad Friday night?
A - Flashpoint

Trivia question #2
Q - What flavor of ice cream did Andrea order?
A - Red Raspberry Cheesecake

Trivia question #3
Q - What flavor of ice cream did Mom order?
A - Chocolate Peanut Butter

Trivia question #4
Q - How much is a full order of gnocchi from Nick’s?
A - $6.25, I’m a big spender!

Trip home to visit Johnson City

We arrived at the chilly Binghamton airport last night at 12:15am. Exhausted and shivering, but excited to be in my hometown. Mom picked us up and we headed home. Dad and the cats (Bunny, Elmo, and Scroungie) were up and ready to catch up. The next thing we knew it was 2:30am and we headed to bed – those Hendrys really like to chit-chat!

We started today pretty lazily (as we were up well past our bedtimes). Mom and Dad had stocked the kitchen with summertime snacks so Frank and I enjoyed several bowls of fruit – Frank’s favorite! We did some more chit chatting and then headed out to get some shopping done and of course, Wegman’s was first. We spent a lengthy period of time pouring over all the delicious options and came out with 7 bags of groceries and souvenirs – don’t worry though because we bought plenty of spiedie sauce so dinner is at our house next week! We’re finally replenished! We visited Tom’s (our favorite jewelry and handmade stuff store) where we spent another length of time soaking in the sparkle but left empty handed so that we could sleep on it and make just the right choices. We were getting a little famished (home always does that to me) so we stopped at Nirchi’s for a few slices of the best pizza in the world. Dad wanted a spiedie from Pancho’s Pit (where the food is delicious but the kitchen is questionable as the name is accurate – it’s a pit). Three chicken spiedies purchased with cash – no credit cards, checks, or cell phones allowed, they’re not screwing around – and we were on our way. we arrived home to dine on our delicacies and were surprised by my sister Chrissy, and the kids (Kayla, Jessica, and Joshua) who’d stopped by to say hi. We ate and caught up while I went through boxes of treasures from years gone by. As I’m not much of a collector, most of the items were going to be discarded but luckily for me, the nieces and nephew fell in love with many items who fortunately found new homes. Ron (brother-in-law) popped by and we made dinner plans for the evening.

We headed off to Nick’s (Tony’s brother’s restaurant – no, we don’t know Tony, but his food is deliciously infamous but a little more fancy and expensive because of his local fame… oh, and his son isn’t such good people but that’s a story for another time). We arrived and were presented with the most delicious meal of all time – Nick and Tony’s pizza (which has been said to be the best in the world by my aunt Loris and her daughter Leslie), gnocchi (which I swear to God is the best gnocchi you’ll find anywhere) along with lasagna, chicken parmesan, and rigatoni. Though I was lucky to sit next to Jessica and Joshua (who agrees that my gnocchi is freakin’ amazing) I missed out on the people watching, which Frank says was something to behold. There was a person in an American flag blouse/oxford who we assume was continuing his or her Independence Day celebration and making it a month long extravaganza. There were also at least three families dining with their young fancy sons who we envision moving to Orlando in the next few years to work in characters after having a thoroughly uncomfortable conversation with mom and dad. We wish them the best of luck with all that!

We all left filled to the gills (and with plenty to talk about) but had to stop at Pat Mitchell’s (which my mother refers to as an institution) for a late night ice cream snack. We picked up cookies and cream, red-raspberry cheesecake, chocolate peanut butter and cherry vanilla to-go and headed home. Before getting into the car we had a good laugh about Pat Mitchell’s slogan posted both inside and outside the restaurant - “Lick The Legend” which we thought was fairly unappetizing for an eatery of sorts. At least the old man didn’t quote it (a la “Have a Magical Day”) at us because that would have been truly disgusting. Anyway, we closed out the night with some CSI-esque programming and plenty of snacks. I love coming home to visit!

Tomorrow is a holiday in downtown Binghamton – get ready for the excitement!

Happy 4th, 5th, and 6th of July!
May all of your watermelon seeds cross the handle of the second broomstick, may your cheeks puff out majestically like Bob’s do so willingly, and may all your bowls be filled with moose turd-a-licious rosa marina salad!

Damn that Joey Chestnut…. That lightening round was rigged!!!
Kobayashi’s gone up against a bear for God’s sake and is far mightier than that pasty and sweaty American!

I just finished Skinny B*tch which is a book filled with profanity, judgment, and recommendations for lots of vegetables. Something that, honestly, sounds right up my alley. Unfortunately the authors are crazy b*tches to put it gently, and instead of offering sage wisdom and inspiration, it fills the reader with discomfort, graphic images, and a big bucket full of guilt. I’ll just mention, for those of you who might not know this out there but I have been a vegetarian for more than 16 years. I have spent more of my life not eating meat, than eating it and this book made me feel guilty about my eating habits. This book recommends an entirely organic vegan lifestyle and diet without apology and does so in such a preachy way that I felt terribly guilty and uncomfortable. I foolishly allowed myself to be affected by their literature for a few days and for reasons that I no longer understand, I decided to go on a raw vegan fast this week.

What is this ridiculousness, you might ask?

This delicious diet consists of raw vegetables, fruits, and nuts, the occasional glass or mug of tea, and lots and lots of water. I ended my fast today after one-and-three-quarter days after fighting off a still present nauseating headache, and finding myself sniffing at a box of cookies longingly while fearing that someone would enter my cube and catch me in this shameful act. I was all set to keep my momentum for another three-and-one-quarter days when I realized that I had the ingredients at home for a pumpkin lasagna I’ve wanted to make for some time which is neither raw, nor vegan.

It is, on the other hand, delicious and there’s plenty left since I like to cook for an army! I’m off the raw vegan wagon and the headache is even beginning to dissipate - thank God!

Moral of the story:
Goat Cheese and Pumpkin do a body good and are natural headache chaser-awayers!

The longest day of the year has come and gone and now it’s finally summer! Our friends over at Scholastic and Leaky News are also celebrating the holiday and have put together a “Summer on Privet Drive” activity - check it out at http://www.scholastic.com/harrypotter/challenge/summer_at_the_dursleys/

Thanks to everyone who celebrated with us last night and I’m sorry that we couldn’t have the outdoor evening I’d planned - rain gets in the way sometimes. Although, if we are to truly celebrate the bounty of our harvest then rain will be necessary, so rain rain come this way is my new motto… and if the left overs left over in my fridge are an example of anything, it’s bounty.

Anyway, to provide a bountiful harvest of my own, last week I planted an herb garden - basil, mint, sage, and rosemary. After nearly 6 days in my care, they are thriving and have thoroughly enjoyed the daily showers that we’ve been having. I know, I’m surprised too.

I feel very fortunate to be able to harvest my herbs, left overs, friends, and good times as they can all always be found a-plenty at Villa-Bration! Thank you for continually filling my metaphorical cupboard! Happy Solstice and I hope you’re enjoying your bounty, the sun’s golden rays, and summer wherever you are!

So, one month to go!
30 days until I turn 30 – how crazy is that? This year has really flown by and though turning 30 still feels a little scary, I think I’ve almost accepted that I’m 29. It’s about time!

Anyway, here’s an update for where we are with the list….

1) Go to California - done
2) Get chased by a bear and/or mountain lion - done
3) See the biggest tree in the world - done
4) Learn to crochet - done
5) Be bathing suit ready – done… well at least I gave it a whirl!
6) Start over - done
7) Cut my hair short - done
Learn another language – done… well, again, at least I gave it a whirl!
9) Let a high school crush know how I feel – Paul Griffin that’s you! - done
10) Start over a little bit more - done
11) Have my own moral of the story - done
12) Write a book – done… working on it!
13) Complete a race - done
14) Quit biting my nails – done – aren’t you proud of me?
15) Write a song – waiting for inspiration from #20! Delicious!
16) Learn how to do a cartwheel – working on it
17) Learn to juggle – working on it
18) Try something new – belly dancing and balloon animal making – working on it
19) Go on a wine tasting tour - planned
20) Celebrate Pirohi Day – planned and I know you’re jealous!
21) Naked margaritas – planned – be there or be hot in the Florida sun!
22) Hike the Grand Canyon – planned
23) Change the world – working on it – really I am!

I still need a few more items to complete the list and I welcome your suggestions. Funny thing though… As I’ve been adding to the list and knocking things off the list, I’ve discovered that I’m a pretty straightforward gal. That’s probably no surprise for most of you reading this, but apparently I don’t have a whole lot of unfinished business waiting for me and I’m not afraid of trying new things. I think that’s why finding and keeping things on the list has been a bit of a challenge but a fun adventure and I have a good feeling that this last month might be even be more of an adventure than the first 11 months! But even if it takes a while longer to figure the last few out, I have a good feeling that I’ll be around a few days after July 19th to find out what happens next!

Get excited – it’s going to be a good month!

I love Lost (especially this season), but, if I had been single when it first aired, I would not have watched it.

Lost is VERY scary and I should not watch it alone. I like to think that the girls are good company for scary programming but they’re not. When I jump around or gasp repeatedly, they huff at me and then get up to go lay somewhere else. That is not the sort of support that I prefer when in my time of need. Anyway, It’s always a little scary but I think maybe somehow a little less frightening when Frank is here. *sigh*

I finally got around to watching the season finale of Lost tonight all by myself (in my first free full evening in many many days) and it was a good one - a cliff hanger, exciting, and informative - but maybe a little too grown up for a pajama clad girl like me!

Last weekend Hope, Lisa, and I completed a 15k (9.2 mile) brisk walk across and around Disney property. I was sore for days but it was all well worth it (mostly because now I can say that I did it - I’m very sporty you know).

Enjoy!

Have a gander at the best anniversary present ever!

I’m sure that there are many of you out there who love infomercials as much as I do. You might look forward to the 3am rantings of the “scratch and dent” lady who, as Frank says, is in fact scratched and dented herself (see knee brace boldly displayed underneath her fluorescent yellow cocktail frock). You may also have been talked into purchasing proactive at 6 in the morning because you have four blackheads and allowed Vanessa Williams to convince you that you are covered in acne. Anyway, this brings us to the topic at hand.

Three years have come and gone (well, really more like five if you’re counting all of it) and here we are. We shared a lovely anniversary evening of frivolity ending in our gift exchange when Frank gave me the best gift of all time. I am now the proud owner of the best infomercial product ever - and just I drank a frothy cocktail out of my party mug after dicing onions to fry up in the skillet! Yep, you guessed it! Frank bought me a Magic Bullet for our anniversary! Don’t get jealous - you’re all welcome to stop by and chose your protective color coded ring for your party mug!

For this gift, I’ll compose an ode to Frank:

Ode to Frank
Frank oh Frank
You are a tank
The wind blows through your orang-y locks
when running around in your orang-y frocks
You frolic across the bank
Ringing your bell, you go Clank, Clank,
Outside in the sunshine
but with you, forever is not such a long time!

“Every cell in my body felt like it was exploding with life.”

olivia newton-john’s eloquent daughter

Consider this your basket of surprise flowers on your doorknob! Happy May Day!

I didn’t mention it, but for those of you who never experienced the fun that funchester afforded the fortunate few, that when the infamous song “I see London, I see France, I see Andrea’s….” (thanks Chad) Mike Esterheld was the one who scooped me up and carried me out of the caf’.

That might help the previous post (two posts ago) make sense… or not, but thanks for reading, regardless of my inability to tell a coherent story.

I’ve eaten an average of 15.5 delicious cookies every day for the last week and a half and though I should probably be doing some sit-ups and overall excercise so that I continue to grow into my new big-girl pants, I’m really concerned about the crunch time left before the big day. Frank and I were out today with the hundreds of thousands of other slack-ass Christmas-ers to get our last minute gifts and their toppers before it’s too late. We had a reasonably productive shopping day, which we concluded with a trip to Cold Stone as our reward for our hard work but when we got out to the car to head home and relax, it wouldn’t start. It’s funny sometimes how we are forced to stop the bustling about and we find that we’re happy we slowed down… oh, and happy that the tow man was friendly!

*** I wrote this a few days before Christmas but think that it’s appropriate for our bustling spirit throughout the year… and our spirit of friendliness - or emergency vehicle driver’s friendliness!

A week ago or so the gang and I went to see Avenue Q, which I’d really wanted to see for a while. It was terrific but I was a little nervous that I might get teary when they sang “I wish I could go back to college” because I always seem to when I hear that song. I’m not sure why I get so worked up when I think about being a young person and the time I spent in Virginia.

I’m sure it has something to do with all the firsts - moving out of the house, learning to live with strangers, eating all-you-care-to-cover-in-ranch every day, the availability of mass quantities of wine coolers, or the hormones rushing through the bodies of hundreds who are celebrating the unending opportunities to finally “do it” without getting caught by their parents (but with the likelihood of being caught by their new roommate who is only pretending to sleep on the bottom bunk and wishing that two minutes would quickly pass without so much shaking). Anyway, I’d been feeling a little nostalgic about the friends I’d lost touch with and googled one of my favorite people from freshman year.

I’m not sure why I remember it so vividly, but I was standing just outside the snack bar in the student center holding an unreasonably large pile of books when it happened. Mike Esterheld walked up to me and told me that he was leaving Shenandoah to join the Americorps. I dropped my stack of books (making a loud thump and quite a mess) and burst into tears. I was so shocked and saddened that someone so wonderful was leaving and with my 18 year old self-centered perspective screwed on tight, I proceeded to lose touch with him. Anyway, for those who remember me as the Cooley Girl you knew and loved you’ll also want to know that Michael Esterheld (and his riveting song about starting a date at Wal-Mart) can be found at www.mikeesterheld.com (or for those of you who’ve never understood my college stories, this should give you a clearer picture).

Oh, and I just remembered, Anne Pape, I know that I still owe you dollars from the phone bill - I think it was like thirty or something. Let me know where you live and I’ll send it straight away - sorry it’s so late!

I didn’t think it’d be this difficult, but it was awfully sad to say goodbye to some of my favorite people, the volunteers from Give Kids The World Village. As the last minutes of my last day ticked by, I was surprised to realize how hard it was to say goodbye to those wonderfully crazy folks.

Thank you to all of you who have taught me what it is to give of yourselves, and to make things appropriately personal. Thank you for welcoming me, including me, keeping me in line, and reminding me of who is in charge. I’ll not soon forget how wonderful and crazy each of you are! I am a better person for having worked with and having had the opportunity to know you.

Thank you.

Here we are! We’re in Paris again. Nothing super fun to share yet but have a look at the two pictures we posted from the top of the Arc de Triomphe - you may also see my short hair! I’m not quite bald but a little more Euro-Chic - Enjoy!

Have Short Hair
I did it!!! One more out of the way - woo hoo!

Well, after quite a bit of hemming and hawing the 1st 10 is finished and ready to share
1) get into shape to be bathing suit ready (for the first time ever)
2) go on a wine tasting tour
3) start writing a book
4) write a new song
5) stop biting my nails
6) go on a fun and spontaneous road trip
7) give stand up a try - just once!
learn to juggle
9) learn another language
10) finally figure out how to do a bar chord

Well, I’ll get to getting and keep you posted!

M’res had this on her blog and I think it’s funny enough, that we should all play!
Enjoy and play along!

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
Attila Echo

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
Cookie Dough Green Tree

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
A Hen

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal),
Purple Hedgehog

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, hospital where you were born),
Marie Wilson

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first),
HenAn

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink),
The Pink Vanilla Coke Zero

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers),
Bill Carmine (sounds good to me)

9.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ),
Marie James

10. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter),
Vincenti Vancouver

11. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower).
Christmas Tulip

12. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)
Raspberry Pajama Pants

13. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree),
Fiber One Magnolia

14. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”),
The Crochet Snow Tour

As most of you know, we adopted Phyllis Navidad Hendry-Blum from Pet Rescue By Judy. Judy found homes for 1500 animals last year. Unfortunately, Judy is having some trouble and needs a shelter for her animals. She has 168 days before she’ll start being fined and the trouble really starts so it’s time to act (truthfully, I should have done something a long time ago but now is a good time too).

This is the message that is on her website today:
We have 168 days left to come into compliance with Orange County Code Enforcement or face fines of $250/day. We need 1.5+ fenceable acres, preferrably in Seminole County, with water and power, zoned for industrial or commercial use, donated, sold, or leased at a ridiculously low cost. Perhaps your financial advisor or attorney has a client who needs a tax write-off or benevolence…. If you can help, please e-mail info@petrescuebyjudy.com. Thank you!

Please go to www.petrescuebyjudy.com to learn more about her situation and let’s get together to do something… not sure what just yet, but share it with your coworkers and friends so that we can give Judy the help she needs.

So, though I talk about myself and my life here in my many thoughts from the funk but I like to think that I keep it pretty general masking what this really is, which is a website all about me. In the next few months, I beg your forgiveness as I may appear to be wildly self-involved, and indulgent while I address my insecurities about turning 30 years old. I know that most of you will say that 30 isn’t old, and it’s not a big deal, but I’m pretty sure that you think that because you’re already 30. No offense, I’m not ready to hop on board the old folks mobile with the rest of you just yet.

My friend Maresi wrote a blog a day each day before she turned 30, which was probably alot of work for her but really fun and informative for the rest of us. She took time each day to write on the world wide web and that inspired me to do my 30 before 30 as well… but I’m not going to do it all in one month not only because there wouldn’t be time to do it all in one month, but mostly because my freak-out started several months ago

Anyway, I’ve started making a list of things that I’d like to complete, experience, or try before I turn the ripe old age of 30. I’ll narrow down my list and share it with all of you soon (I know you’re excited). So get ready, it’s going to be a fun few months!