Happy 4th, 5th, and 6th of July!
May all of your watermelon seeds cross the handle of the second broomstick, may your cheeks puff out majestically like Bob’s do so willingly, and may all your bowls be filled with moose turd-a-licious rosa marina salad!

Damn that Joey Chestnut…. That lightening round was rigged!!!
Kobayashi’s gone up against a bear for God’s sake and is far mightier than that pasty and sweaty American!