The honorable title bestowed upon me…

At one time, I held the title of Miss Ranch Dressing 2001 so it should not come as a surprise to any of you that I like sauce. I’ll admit that I love sauce, condiments especially but yesterday I discovered something quite disturbing.

We recently acquired an appliance from a store that is famous for informing its customers (and all of Central Florida) that, “If you pay retail, you paid too much!” This purchase forced me to do something that I haven’t done in more than two years, clean out the refrigerator. In doing so, I found things (lemon juice, dressing, margarine) that expired more than two years ago, so obviously refrigerator detail is not one of my strengths.

I filled a trash bin with my expired collection but the only word to describe the door of our new refrigerator is impressive, but not because of any design feature. What makes the door to our new refrigerator amazing is what we have filled it with, sauce glorious sauce. The following picture was what was left of things I was unable to rid when mucking out our stellar condiment collection.

sauce glorious sauce

Apparently the boys and I have some sort of sauce addiction that we need help for but I think the first step toward our collective recovery is admitting to the world that we are slaves to our own saucy habit. Well, here is our admission to guilt and love for the moistness that fills the bland items of our lives with flavor! I raise a glass to you ranch dressing, vinaigrette, bar-b-que sauce, and especially Henderson’s Relish – it is to you whom we owe lifelong gratitude!

5 thoughts on “The honorable title bestowed upon me…”

  1. I believe you held the title in 2003, for that is the year in which that mean waitress instead of using conventional politeness like Ma’am or sir, used such titles as “Miss Ranch Dressing”, and “here you go, blue shirt”. She was eloquent. I know, because I was there.

    However, your collection is most impressive. I believe the last time I visited and we had food items requiring mustard that there were at the very least 4 types from which to choose. It’s like a mustard museum in there.

    say hi to the girls. and frank, too.

  2. I love this post! What I love most about that project is when you have things that are expired by one or two years and they have never been opened! Your door looks glorious!

  3. Opening your fridge and taking in the sight of a typical example of the kind of American over consumption our European counterparts love to point out, will always be, for me, an Orlando not to be missed attraction, like Pirates Of The Caribbean. It never ceases to amaze me. Yet not as amazing as the fact that there never seems to be anything to use the sauces on, except cheese and crystallized ice cream containers.

  4. After our delicious lunch and little bit of a sit down we had that day…it was certainly educational for me to see exactly how many types of sauce you had…I have to say I’m a better person for knowing just what people are capable of in this world, and I have you and your fridge to thank for it.

  5. I always thought of you as “sassy”, but now I guess I need to change that to “saucy”. Miss you tons and looking for you phone number. May the sauce be with you.

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